Betsy DeVos Says Media Shouldn't Emphasize First Hundred Days Because It's So Hard to Count to 100 [View all]
Betsy DeVos Says Media Shouldn’t Emphasize First Hundred Days Because “It’s So Hard to Count to a Hundred”
By Andy Borowitz 11:20 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Education Secretary Betsy DeVos criticized the media on Friday for placing so much emphasis on Donald Trump’s first hundred days, because “it’s so darn hard to count to a hundred.”
“I’m watching the news and they’re going on about a hundred days this and a hundred days that, and all I want to say is, ‘Who the heck can count all the way to a hundred?’ ” she said. “They’re acting like we’re a bunch of math geniuses.”
DeVos added that, if the media wanted to establish a benchmark for Trump’s achievement, “they should have picked a number of days that people can actually count to, like five or ten.”
The Education Secretary then demonstrated how it was possible to count to ten using one’s hands.
Despite the media’s obsession with “ridiculously big numbers,” DeVos said she has no intention of trying to count to a hundred.
“I have an important job and the last thing I need is to do something that makes my head hurt,” she said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
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