General Discussion

seabeyond

(110,159 posts) Thu Jul 5, 2012, 10:15 AM Jul 2012

i am curious what a larger number of people think about posting peoples pms for all to read... [View all]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by HappyMe (a host of the General Discussion forum).

there is a discussion saying to watch what you type in pms because it is ok now to put on the board. i don't care that it is ok, or not ok, per du rules. that is not the issue for me putting someones pms out. i feel that i have a pretty normal view that it is wrong to share what someone is saying when they think the conversation is between two people. i have a lot of pms, from a lot of people, and i would never consider giving them to the board to read. it is not because there is nasty in the pms. that i am "protecting" anyone or keeping their secret. it is just when typing off board, a person speaks in a manner they would not for public view. i wouldn't do it because if there is a conversation about another duer, it is focusing a light on them and they don't deserve that.

i would no more share someones pm than i would a conversation i am having with one person.

most all of my conversations in pms are exploring thought that would not be board conversation. that is why we are pm'ing and not talking in a thread. i had never had abusive pms in all the years until just recently and i have had a couple posters use pm to have their rant. even those, i feel, are between us and are afforded privacy. i felt it was just an opportunity to be able to explore the issue in a more acceptably blunt and to the point manner. even those, i would allow privacy and not put on the board. if i felt anything stepped over the line, i could alert the pm and it would go to administration.

this is something i feel strongly about. when i see someone put out pms, i cringe.

if i am ever serving on a jury about pms put out, it is something i would vote to hide.

i do not think i am in the minority with this view.

so, help me out duers. how do you feel about exposing pms. has the age of internet, the anonymous poster, changed the rules i grew up with?

6 votes, 0 passes \| Time left: Poll closed
	i have no problem with pm's being put on the board.
	0 (0%)
	i have a problem with pm's put on the board.
	6 (100%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
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50 replies

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Highlight:

i am curious what a larger number of people think about posting peoples pms for all to read... [View all] seabeyond Jul 2012 OP

Have no illusions, nothing is "priivate" on the internet. bemildred Jul 2012 #1

i have no illusions either. nothing is private. but, that is not my question. i am asking seabeyond Jul 2012 #3

I think it should be within the rules, but one should keep in mind they may end up looking like... Ian David Jul 2012 #2

again, valid points. and i get that. that is not what my OP is about. i get that seabeyond Jul 2012 #7

It depends what the PMs are about. Ian David Jul 2012 #13

ya. that would make a little difference. but, not really, lol. i wouldnt. if i felt the seabeyond Jul 2012 #15

posting peoples pms for all to read? napkinz Jul 2012 #4

and talk about napkins?.... rollin eyes. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #9

They aren't PMs--they are DUMail. MADem Jul 2012 #5

Uh, I think naps was being sarcastic DiverDave Jul 2012 #14

that's why I added the WINK napkinz Jul 2012 #16

On DU2, they were called PMs -- P as in Private. M as in Mail. MADem Jul 2012 #27

I think it is more polite to ask permission before disclosing private correspondence malthaussen Jul 2012 #25

there you go. it is not about anything being nefarious, or obnoxious to be hidden. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #32

Well, let's assume I wrote you one of those love letters, using DUMail. MADem Jul 2012 #36

I have no problem with it JustAnotherGen Jul 2012 #6

i have a very tough time wrapping my mind around that. so funny. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #12

Given that the purpose of pm is to be private, malthaussen Jul 2012 #8

Very bad idea in my view. seabeyond Jul 2012 #11

I think it's a horrible idea... TreasonousBastard Jul 2012 #10

Commen sense solution demwing Jul 2012 #17

i get this. but, that is not what my pm is about. it is about how we personally feel about pms seabeyond Jul 2012 #18

What if a DU is encouraging another DUer to behave badly towards a third? MADem Jul 2012 #40

If you send a snail mail letter to someone, that person has always had the right snot Jul 2012 #19

i would no more share private writings to me thru snail mail than i would read private mail seabeyond Jul 2012 #21

I don't see a problem, unless there was a previous agreement to keep it confidential muriel_volestrangler Jul 2012 #20

DU3 does not have PM's Ohio Joe Jul 2012 #22

one on one conversation, to me, is the promise that i was raised with. it is what i was taught seabeyond Jul 2012 #24

You should not make such assumptions Ohio Joe Jul 2012 #31

it doesnt matter to me joe. it is who i am. it works for me. it is the way i was raised. seabeyond Jul 2012 #33

Just because it's not against the rules doesn't make it a good thing The empressof all Jul 2012 #23

it really does not effect me at all. seabeyond Jul 2012 #30

I'd never do it. Iggo Jul 2012 #26

even that. all the taunting in the world, i still will not do it seabeyond Jul 2012 #35

It's called a "private message" for a reason. I'm going with common sense here..n/t monmouth Jul 2012 #28

It's not, though. The name was changed. MADem Jul 2012 #44

Ahh, thanks, did not know that. I rarely PM people so thanks for the info..n/t monmouth Jul 2012 #49

DU3 is all about transparency. Admins designed it that way. Lars39 Jul 2012 #29

again, i am talking about personal choices we make. not about the administration or transparency. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #37

And again, doesn't matter. Lars39 Jul 2012 #41

email would be no more protected. not about allowing, it is about if you personally do not have seabeyond Jul 2012 #45

Except for the magic that is the self delete feature when used along with the host forum Bluenorthwest Jul 2012 #47

It's interesting how questions of ethics often seem to degenerate into questions of law. malthaussen Jul 2012 #34

questions of ethics often seem to degenerate into questions of law. seabeyond Jul 2012 #38

I think it's more complicated than a yes or no vote. jorno67 Jul 2012 #39

i thought about that and decided i wanted it no more complicated than a yes or no seabeyond Jul 2012 #43

Fair enough... jorno67 Jul 2012 #46

sigh.... seabeyond Jul 2012 #48

No problem with it at all. polly7 Jul 2012 #42

I'm going to lock this. HappyMe Jul 2012 #50