I am interested in reading experiences of primary caregivers of a dying parent.

[hatrack]

37. Primary for my Dad, but in large measure because of geography . . .

This was a (roughly) two-year process, one hospitalization, and then a short hospitalization/terminal diagnosis about 20 months later. Other than that, he was living independently, and doing pretty well for his age (90).

My brother (about 3,000 miles away) was available in large blocks, after the initial hospitalization and for much of the last two weeks of Dad's life, while I did the more day-to-day stuff in between.

I never resented the ongoing demands on my time during that period for routine care, or for that matter, taking care of things at the end; there have never been any negative repercussions as a result.

We were able to do in-home health care and in-home hospice (a Godsend in both cases), and I should stress that I'm well aware of just how fortunate we were, compared with what your situation sounds like.

We were lucky, and if there's a good death, it's what our father experienced.