I am interested in reading experiences of primary caregivers of a dying parent.

[erinlough]

41. Reading this brings many memories and thankfulness.

My sister and I were caregivers for my oldest sister who died in 2005, my mother in 2007 and my father 9 months later. We shared primary caregiving, appointments, even learned how to do peritoneal dialysis for my father. My other sister was less able to help due to her job, but filled in when she could. I looked at it as my own decision, I chose it so what anyone else decided to do it was ok with me.
The important thing for me was having someone to talk to about it, to laugh or cry and to say the things you wouldn’t say in public. I was and have always been lucky to have a best friend relationship with my sister. We walked daily for about a half an hour and would laugh about the crazy things that happened, and rage about some of the maddening things. I hope you have someone to talk to. If not contact local hospice and see if they can help you connect with a group or person.
Initially I felt like I had no choice, these loved ones needed help and I was their nearest relative, however when I watched a cousin put her mom in a nursing home and simply move away, I realized I was making a choice of my own. Once I accepted that this was my own choice it made it easier somehow. I hope you find peace with your decision.