I am interested in reading experiences of primary caregivers of a dying parent.

[Duppers]

50. My poor brother is shouldering 80%

Of my 92yo mother's care.

LuckyCharms, this may not help you since my mother's is not yet dying, but this is about an ongoing and sad family dynamic.

My brother and my sister live within 50 miles of mom and I'm almost 500 miles away. Although not dying yet but creeping farther into dementia, our mother is too demanding (always has been) and my sister is too self-absorbed. So my poor brother shoulders the burden of caring for our demanding, narcissistic mother.

My hubs and I were extremely estranged from her decades ago. We are on opposite sides of every subject you can imagine with her. I send checks to help with her financial load....and to my brother. I listen to his burdens and am sympathetic.

I would help more but my hubby forbids it. He is livid with my mother's attitude about a personal matter of ours.

It's a sad situation and is shortening my brother's life, I fear. He has had a heart attack and has gone back to smoking just to cope with his anger. Mom was in a care facility very shortly after a fall but they threw her out! Yes, she's that bad!

My brother says he'll never speak to our sister once our mother's meager estate is settled. I cannot blame him.

Sad situation.