General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: I lost my mother, and it's even worse than that. [View all]Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)You have nothing to feel guilty about, if you feel any guilt. When it's time, it's time. She was gone. It no longered mattered to her when she was found. She could just as easily have mentioned to a few neighbors to check on her, if they didn't see her for a while. But we never think we're going to die.
She went in her sleep. Who doesn't want to go that way? She was lucky.
I feel for you having to spend the first turkey day without her and your special day with her. Thanksgiving has a special painful meaning for me, too. I can tell you that I do not make arrangements to do anything on that day for the purpose of avoiding the painful reminders. I think it's important to feel the pain, so that I can get better. It does get better over time. Inch by inch, day by day, year by year.
My Dad is 86 and is a Trumper and Faux News watcher, too. I will almost never discuss politics with him, though he tries to draw me in, sometimes. My stepmom, his wife, is a Trumper and Faux News devotee, too. They are both so incredibly ignorant of facts...because they watch Faux News to get "facts." There is no hope for such people, politically. They became lost when they voted for Trump. He, in turn, refers to me as the "treehugger" in the family. He means it as an insult, but to me that's a compliment. (Reminder to self: Get a t-shirt that says "treehugger."
But we can only try to compartmentalize our family members who are political idiots, and focus on the good stuff. I hope you made it through the day okay. It will get better.