Former aide says Cuomo kissed her, suggested strip poker

[flibbitygiblets]

24. Well let me just help you out

There are a host of reasons this can happen.

-The victim is caught off-guard or surprised. S/he may have been thinking "wow, it LOOKS like this person is going to kiss me on the lips, but they wouldn't do that..."
-The perpetrator is someone the victim had trusted. A boss, coworker or say, your spouse's best friend. The victim may have thought the perpetrator was going for a cheek kiss, then what do you say after it's too late? Do you think it's easy to put someone in their place whom you trusted, or who is your boss, or a close family friend you've known for years?
-Women are conditioned from birth to "be nice", and just as often, not to "overreact". The older a woman is, the more true this is. Saying, "hey, that's inappropriate" is something most women, especially of a certain age, were actively discouraged from doing most of our lives.
-The victim may have been victimized previously. This causes a "freeze" reaction, where you kind of go blank for a second or two, and can't think clearly because you can't fucking believe what is happening.

I've been in every one of the above situations, and usually I end up more mad at myself for not being more assertive IN THE MOMENT. This is not to say that I in any way encouraged or wanted this behavior. Men occasionally act quickly and in a predatory way that catches us off-guard. If we see it coming, it's easier to have your guard up and be ready to defend yourself. If you don't, you end up thinking "WTF just happened?" and somewhat blaming yourself, which is due to the bullshit that society does to us.