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babydollhead

(2,231 posts)
40. I can not judge the person I raised children with as a human, nor they, me.
Mon May 3, 2021, 09:18 PM
May 2021

having kids and raising them is something that I did every day and every night. Every breath in and out was about us growing up as a family. I built my life around my whole family. Last kid finally moved out in early Fall, last year. I thought it was time for my husband and I to have our time. In March he side blinded me by telling me he was done, that he was in love with an old girlfriend, and he was moving. He quit his job and the marriage the same day (after 30 years of both) he packed a back pack, left his house key, said"well I have everything I care about in this bag" and high tailed it out of this life. 3 grown kids, 25, 28, and 29, are so sad and mad at him. I had a very bad landslide of grief and fear. what I will do? who am I? Now they are all gone and I am in this house, and there is nothing I can do about this but survive, heal, and thrive again. It was very abrupt from my perspective, and mean. He didn't take one picture of the kids with him. It is still so new. He asked me why I couldn't be happy for him like we were for each kid as they grew up and went on with their life. He keeps emailing me to say how happy he is. He was surprised that I was not happy with his news of leaving.

He's not much to look at, but neither am I. Ocelot II May 2021 #1
Nice!! eom guillaumeb May 2021 #4
But there is a lot to look at in his bank account. LisaL May 2021 #8
Exactly. I could ogle that all day. Ocelot II May 2021 #9
I think a lot of people right now are dreaming about being LisaL May 2021 #31
Hell, I'll marry his ex-wife Polybius May 2021 #52
Sorry, you're too late Rorey May 2021 #11
He's not bad looking for 65 TexasBushwhacker May 2021 #34
Hmmmmm.... cilla4progress May 2021 #2
After 27 years, how much more "growing" did they expect to do? NurseJackie May 2021 #3
So true! lucca18 May 2021 #20
Well, you grow through every personal and family challenge. pnwmom May 2021 #24
Well, we don't know how long they've been unhappy TexasBushwhacker May 2021 #35
A lot of divorces take place just when the kids are ready to be on their own. NH Ethylene May 2021 #43
Yup. Their youngest child is now 18. I'm guessing that was what they were waiting for. nt SunSeeker May 2021 #57
Well, BFD. Demnation May 2021 #5
I wonder if this has anything to do with his stance on vaccines NullTuples May 2021 #6
Exactly what I was thinking. Melinda must have been very unhappy about that. SunSeeker May 2021 #58
People give up too easily. GETPLANING May 2021 #7
Usually in these cases they had already been emotionally apart JI7 May 2021 #10
If BOTH parties want it to work, that's possible Rorey May 2021 #12
or maybe people just know they can do better Skittles May 2021 #42
How many people in this DU forum believe that 1 or both cheated on the other? ... aggiesal May 2021 #13
Sometimes the marriage is over long before the cheating begins. tinrobot May 2021 #17
I wonder if a third party is involved in this marriage ending kimbutgar May 2021 #14
It wouldn't surprise me if that is the deal. LisaL May 2021 #16
Who is the other wife of an uber rich guy DENVERPOPS May 2021 #25
I think that was Bezos' wife, wasn't it? Karadeniz May 2021 #26
Bingo! dhol82 May 2021 #28
Gates Sgent May 2021 #56
not suprised at all. it was at his wifes instance that he do the the money donations . AllaN01Bear May 2021 #15
That's interesting. Did not know that. dhol82 May 2021 #29
Are you confusing him with somebody else? LisaL May 2021 #33
Sure that wasn't Gates' dad who was the driver behind Deminpenn May 2021 #46
That sucks... Chakaconcarne May 2021 #18
Hopefully they will be able to move on to the next stage of their lives as friends Heartstrings May 2021 #19
They must think they can since they will both continue at the Foundation. n/t pnwmom May 2021 #32
Why do these people think Miguelito Loveless May 2021 #21
Probably because we click into threads like this and comment. n/t NH Ethylene May 2021 #45
I only wish the both all the very best. nt Grey5 May 2021 #22
The vaccine's nanobots didn't work on Melinda. ZonkerHarris May 2021 #23
Wat to go John Oliver you home wrecker!! IA8IT May 2021 #27
When the world is not enough. Marcuse May 2021 #30
Wait, so money DOESN'T buy happiness? FailureToCommunicate May 2021 #36
Sometimes finding a new path in personal relationships is happiness quakerboy May 2021 #41
They should give it a little more time. They really need to get to know each other first. Kablooie May 2021 #37
Take him to the cleaners Melinda! Devil Child May 2021 #38
The marriage is now a blue screen of death Dukkha May 2021 #39
I see what you did hydrolastic May 2021 #50
I can not judge the person I raised children with as a human, nor they, me. babydollhead May 2021 #40
Wow, he is so self-centered he won't even acknowledge how badly he hurt you. SunSeeker May 2021 #61
He doesn't have the best years! bedazzled May 2021 #63
thank you babydollhead May 2021 #67
please don't let him continue to hurt you bedazzled May 2021 #68
thank you kind friend babydollhead May 2021 #69
selfish jerk janterry May 2021 #62
He sounds like he's messed up in the head Rorey May 2021 #66
your words are wise babydollhead May 2021 #70
Bill caught Melinda using an Apple computer. tclambert May 2021 #44
This message was self-deleted by its author hamsterjill May 2021 #49
When our last child was nearly ready to leave for college, NH Ethylene May 2021 #47
Congratulations! I'm glad you were able to reconnect. SunSeeker May 2021 #59
After 27 years, "growing together" is not the goal. TomSlick May 2021 #48
What does "growing" even mean in this context? SunSeeker May 2021 #60
Bill and Melinda have been in a race to give their money away. JohnnyRingo May 2021 #51
Bill supposedly pledged to give away a large percentage of his wealth before he died. LudwigPastorius May 2021 #53
when i heard this on the radio earlier i thought: orleans May 2021 #54
Which of them will get that ginormous house? fierywoman May 2021 #55
I'm wondering who will get the 240k acres of prime farmland Devil Child May 2021 #64
I just heard that their youngest child is eighteen, so maybe waiting for the nest to be empty. betsuni May 2021 #65
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