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In reply to the discussion: I'm burying a friend today [View all]
 

Civic Justice

(870 posts)
5. My sympathies to your and your friend.
Sun Apr 22, 2018, 10:25 AM
Apr 2018

As we age in this day and time, it is a different world... not like the older days when family not only lived close, they were close. Today people's lives are moving fast, especially the young.
I know of the type experience you speak.
It will not be of benefit to address the family with questions of their absence... it only will generate more contentions.

Long ago when I was a child, I'd watch the family not only keep direct and close contact with the sick or elderly, it was the whole of the community and the church family as well as community friends that continued their support. We have not seen those type of family connections in many communities in many decades. People move a lot, some only stay in a house for 3-5 yrs and move from neighborhood to neighborhood and some move from state to state; among the many things that make distance within family among family members as well as distances exist even with friendships as people move about.

Today, people barely know who their next door neighbor is, and certainly do not know the rest of the people living on the block. The whole of today's communities may see each other in passing, but not know each others nations, and barely wave when they see each other in the community as they drive past.

We live in a society that revels about youth and health... its about status and style and how economically fit they they feel, and if they can do the shopping for the latest attire or the newest gadgets.

In many communities family gathering are far and in-between and some only gather when there's a loss of someone.

Keep your memories of the better times, and be with grace and consolation that you were what is a "real friend" and invested time to maintain being so. That's the blessing that you gave.

Today, our media treats death as like a scene in a movies that flips to another scene and when people get older, their friends too get older and some without the mobility they once had in youth. There are many alone and many lonely older people today, and many are for more graceful toward others, than society may even be aware of, because people simply do not visit and share with family and even with friends in many instances when illness comes. Its the world of today, not like the communities of yesteryear's.

Remember the good that the friendship was built upon and the good that was shared.

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