For the record: I Do Not Believe In Magical Thinking [View all]

However, it is easy to fall into wishful thinking. It's probably unhealthy, but I find it comforting at times.

If I could make a request of an actual magical power being, it would be for some minor vexation to befall Trump in public.

(Even in my fantasies I wouldn't want to "wish" him dead because I really want the world to work properly, if you get my meaning.)

So, witches, if you're out there--and you know that I'm only kidding 'cause I'm saying it out loud in a public venue--could you please cast a spell for one of the following?

A bird to unload on Trump's hair and shoulder during one of his chopper talks. I know that a bird pooping on one is supposed to be good luck, but the good luck could be Trump not getting clawed by the bird.

Trump to loudly (and visibly) shart himself while walking up the stairs to Air Force One.

A serious nosebleed to afflict him while sitting next to the president of some other country and embarrassing himself (and us) with his stupid words.

Okay, that's three things. I could come up with more, but I don't want to be greedy and I know the basic rules about wishes. So, thanks.