The Pumpkin King (whose name was not Donald)...realized

[haele]

1. On consideration, if the Pumpkin King and Queen had been a bit more proactive....

They could have used all the Election and grocery/penny ad flyers to make paper mache pumpkins, coffins, and skulls to put treats in, and given the poor, misused Halloween Bat a bunch of grocery store bags to drop them off in instead of trying to avoid the household pets while hiding treats.
No need for a Spam email, and more children could get treats. Ah well, maybe next year, whether there's Trick or Treat or not.

Haele