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NNadir

(34,533 posts)
Thu Sep 26, 2024, 07:34 PM Sep 26

So, I asked my wife if we could do something special for "my" 40th anniversary with her. [View all]

When we were still "just friends" - I worked up the courage, after an argument - to tell my "friend" that I was madly in love with her, which was true. She responded she wasn't interested in a relationship "with anyone." She asked me if the fact that I was in love with her was going to ruin our friendship. I said I hoped not; I was in love with her and she should know about it, but the fact that I loved her did not compel her in any way to respond in kind.

She accepted that and we continued to hang out, each day beginning with a run on a North Shore Long Island Beach, talking as usual, with me letting it drop, as casually as possible, that I was, after all - I couldn't help it - in love with her, being sure to state it in a matter-of-fact way, no angst.

We were both in difficult living situations; my housemate at the time was a terrible alcoholic; the apartment she was renting had been purchased by Coptic Christians who were constantly establishing "rules" for her apartment, very intrusive rules.

I suggested that she and I become housemates along with a few other friends, get a place together, each with our own room, to address our rough existing conditions.

She asked if we lived in the house together, and she brought home a boyfriend, how I'd react. I said, "I wouldn't like it of course, but it would be none of my business, since me being in love with you doesn't require anything on your part."

She said, "Ok, I'll think about it."

She thought about it. After a time, she agreed to do it.

Then she told me she'd like me better if I shaved off my mustache. I said, "I have a scar above my upper lip from a bicycle accident."

She said, "You're so vain."

So I shaved off my mustache. The scar proved to not be too bad. She asked me why I shaved off my mustache. I said, "Because I love you and you don't like my mustache."

"Oh," she said.

We found a place, and moved in, and on the very first day she and I had our very first kiss, embrace, and so on. Neither of us ever slept in our own room alone thereafter. That was October 1st, forty years ago.

We married a year later, after she finally let out, months and months of living together, that maybe, just maybe, she loved me too.

Of course, on October 1st, I just couldn't believe that I had her in my arms, embracing kissing like high school kids. We'd been friends a long time, and well, I just never thought it would happen, that I'd ever get beyond "just friends" with her.

Anyway.

October 1st, is "my" idea of an anniversary. That was the best day of my life up until that point, although I'd have many more "best days of my life" afterwards, some relatively shortly after we became housemate/roomates, all of the succeeding "best days of my life" involving her.

For her, the only anniversary that matters is the wedding date, our very tacky wedding in a seedy commercial wedding chapel during a blizzard in Lake Tahoe. To her, we've been together 39 years, not 40.

So I told her this evening, that I wanted to do something special, for "my" (not her) 40th anniversary.

She complained, as she did when we first lived together, that I'm always counting things.

"You married me anyway; you knew that all along, that I count stuff."

So, after much hemming and hawing, and complaints about being tired, she agreed on a date with me to celebrate "my" 40th anniversary with her.

I wear her down. I win in the end. I'm having "my" 40th and we're going out and celebrating. She can have her 40th next year; it'll be my 41st.

You know, 40 years ago, I knew I was in love with her, but on reflection, I'm not sure that I knew what love really was. I'm pretty damned sure I know now.

She taught me all about it.

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❤️ great story. underpants Sep 26 #1
Sweet story. Glad it worked out for you! Fla Dem Sep 26 #2
What a delightful story. 3catwoman3 Sep 26 #3
BEAUTIFUL !!! Many many thanks for sharing such a wonderful story. Happy Anniversary to both of you !!! fierywoman Sep 26 #4
Everyone has there own definition of that word. multigraincracker Sep 26 #5
💐🥂 blm Sep 26 #6
That is just too lovely Easterncedar Sep 26 #7
Congratulations, love your story. We celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary this weekend. chicoescuela Sep 26 #8
Great Post & Story ProfessorGAC Sep 26 #9
Aaaaawwww ..... Karadeniz Sep 26 #10
That music you are hearing is the horror movie equivelant of go back asshole.... getagrip_already Sep 26 #11
"Love is patient and kind" LatteLady Sep 26 #12
I'm beginning to think this could be a long term gig for you. Permanut Sep 26 #13
You have given a perfect story DENVERPOPS Sep 26 #14
Very sweet; very touching tribute of your love and life together. Sogo Sep 26 #15
Thank you for sharing this 😊 FirstLight Sep 26 #16
What a fabulous love story. LoisB Sep 26 #17
I love that story! Solly Mack Sep 26 #18
Beautiful! Pinback Sep 26 #19
very sweet. bluboid Sep 26 #20
I've never found my one and only. Dem2theMax Sep 26 #21
Beautiful! kanda Sep 26 #22
Such a beautiful story, NNadir. Thanks so much for sharing it. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 26 #23
What a love story - so sweet. 😍n/t iluvtennis Sep 26 #24
I'm so happy you found each other. LastLiberal in PalmSprings Sep 26 #25
My eyes are leaking. Beautiful love story ZonkerHarris Sep 26 #26
Thank you for sharing that wonderful story sdfernando Sep 26 #27
So sweet!! ailsagirl Sep 26 #28
What a beautifully great story, congratulations on your 40th-ish. yonder Sep 26 #29
Great love story! Trueblue Texan Sep 26 #30
Congratulations! What a beautiful love story! highplainsdem Sep 26 #31
a wonderful tale of youth and young love and through the years. orleans Sep 26 #32
Great story! Aussie105 Sep 26 #33
Loved reading your story! ShazzieB Sep 26 #34
Ahhhhh ... I love love love your story UpInArms Sep 27 #35
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