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In reply to the discussion: Well I just got dumped. [View all]

pipi_k

(21,020 posts)
59. I've been there...probably most of
Thu Oct 11, 2012, 12:05 PM
Oct 2012

us have, and it sucks, but it sucks even more when you don't see it coming.

My first husband did something similar.

We went to a movie, went out for dinner afterward, had a great time.

The next day he moved out.

Stunned is not even adequate to describe how I felt.

This was early 1970s, and in the years gone by I've come to see that maybe it was a way for him to feel less guilty about what he was about to do. He never gave a thought as to how badly it would mess with my head.

When he asked to come back a few months later I said yes.

Of course, a short time later he left again. When he asked to come back a third time (probably because his latest girlfriend kicked him out and he had no place else to go) I said, "Absolutely NOT".

He got married two more times after that and did the same thing. His third wife took him back too many times to count. They were married over 20 years when he passed away. One or the other would leave, then they would get back together. Hey...whatever worked for them, more power to 'em. It just wasn't for me.

anyway, it's hard to believe now, but as sick as you feel now (I always felt like I had gotten hit by a speeding bus) it will pass. This is his issue...not yours. Although if you find yourself getting involved with men who do this sort of thing, you may want to do some personal digging to find out why you're attracted to those men (even on a subconscious level).

So sorry you're hurting now...

Well I just got dumped. [View all] alarimer Oct 2012 OP
That's harsh, but there isn't any easy way, I don't think. bluedigger Oct 2012 #1
No, but I had no idea this was coming. alarimer Oct 2012 #2
Well, I don't know either of you but he is a shit. Robyn66 Oct 2012 #49
I think all the advice here had been pretty good. alarimer Oct 2012 #61
And that is ok Robyn66 Oct 2012 #64
Haven't you been talking about getting rid of this guy for a while? PassingFair Oct 2012 #106
I'm sorry. It sucks. kwassa Oct 2012 #3
I'm too old to start over alarimer Oct 2012 #11
You are never too old to start over. kwassa Oct 2012 #17
WE want you!! I want you! lastlib Oct 2012 #32
I have a cat. alarimer Oct 2012 #35
I think you should get another cat I have 2. ArnoldLayne Oct 2012 #53
Look at it this way: You've just avoided a long-term mistake!! lastlib Oct 2012 #68
My dad met the love of his life when he was 76. She was 79. riderinthestorm Oct 2012 #34
That's sweet alarimer Oct 2012 #37
My grandfather also got remarried in his late 60s after my grandmother died. mythology Oct 2012 #110
Who is going to want you? hamsterjill Oct 2012 #57
How old are you? GermanDem Oct 2012 #73
I think that all the time.... kooljerk666 Oct 2012 #116
How awful, my dear alarimer... CaliforniaPeggy Oct 2012 #4
I was sort of ugly to him on the phone alarimer Oct 2012 #7
I disagree... WillParkinson Oct 2012 #44
Nah, that's not being ugly Hayabusa Oct 2012 #87
I had it happen to me DFW Oct 2012 #45
that's really shitty MrsBrady Oct 2012 #5
But I can't start over at my age; I just can't alarimer Oct 2012 #9
Sure you can. Lots of people do. The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2012 #10
Not here, not in this crappy little town. alarimer Oct 2012 #12
If you can move, maybe you should, though it would be a shame The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2012 #16
I meant more like someday alarimer Oct 2012 #18
Hey, I had to start over much later than that. I'm really happy with it. Hoyt Oct 2012 #13
I'm just going back over everything in my mind alarimer Oct 2012 #20
I'll bet distance had a whole lot to do with it. Hoyt Oct 2012 #30
44? You have got to be kidding me! Trust me, your life is far from over. You will get smarter too OffWithTheirHeads Oct 2012 #21
Thanks. alarimer Oct 2012 #22
You will be fine. OffWithTheirHeads Oct 2012 #36
That is all you are 44 and you think your old. No your still young, I'm 54 and single I ArnoldLayne Oct 2012 #54
I'm a 45 woman and recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years cherish44 Oct 2012 #102
That is all very good advice alarimer Oct 2012 #111
um what's wrong with fat rednecks? woolldog Oct 2012 #23
Yes, I apologize for that. alarimer Oct 2012 #24
nah i was just trying to make you laugh woolldog Oct 2012 #25
My wife was 46 when I met her. klook Oct 2012 #27
Thanks alarimer Oct 2012 #28
OMG alarimer, you are just a baby at 44! You have years crunch60 Oct 2012 #43
Honey 44 is NOT old Robyn66 Oct 2012 #50
Hey, I happen to be 50 hfojvt Oct 2012 #72
44, and you think you are old? Aerows Oct 2012 #79
What the hell does 44 have to do with it? MrMickeysMom Oct 2012 #94
Hey I am 51yo 5'10 155lbs........... kooljerk666 Oct 2012 #117
Yeah, being blindsided is a tough one benld74 Oct 2012 #6
I don't know. alarimer Oct 2012 #8
He has dented your ability to trust people, your own sense of knowing you are correct in your benld74 Oct 2012 #67
Yes, it sucks hard enough to bend light. The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2012 #14
I know all this alarimer Oct 2012 #15
I'm sorry, alarimer. You must be in a lot of pain right now. Aristus Oct 2012 #19
So......what do you do? CaliforniaPeggy Oct 2012 #26
Thanks for this. alarimer Oct 2012 #29
Such a good idea, Peg MrMickeysMom Oct 2012 #95
Damn, I'm really sorry to hear that. He's an idiot... petronius Oct 2012 #31
Sorry alarimer. dawg Oct 2012 #33
he is a jerk. period. irisblue Oct 2012 #38
I'm sorry. Chellee Oct 2012 #39
I just don't know how to fill the time alarimer Oct 2012 #40
You do know. Chellee Oct 2012 #41
THis makes me think of 2 suggestions that really help me get through rough times: raccoon Oct 2012 #47
Sorry I know how much it must hurt, I feel bad for you. ArnoldLayne Oct 2012 #52
that's why you need a puppy..... lastlib Oct 2012 #70
Nobody can be sad around a puppy alarimer Oct 2012 #76
Hugs... HipChick Oct 2012 #42
Wow. He's already unfriended me on Facebook alarimer Oct 2012 #46
My daughter got dumped in a Facebook message revolution breeze Oct 2012 #48
No, This is for the best. Give him no message, no contact, nothing. LuckyLib Oct 2012 #86
I've known the feeling rather well. Try to view it as an opportunity rather than a tragedy. HopeHoops Oct 2012 #51
That's a good message to keep in mind. hedgehog Oct 2012 #62
Long distance romances are the hardest. Baitball Blogger Oct 2012 #55
I know. I was worried about it. alarimer Oct 2012 #75
It is something that comes from age, but there are some decisions that will occur in your life, Baitball Blogger Oct 2012 #78
I hope so alarimer Oct 2012 #81
That really sucks. geardaddy Oct 2012 #56
Well, all you can do is resist the urge to call him ever again, and TwilightGardener Oct 2012 #58
I need answers though alarimer Oct 2012 #60
I know. I was baffled too, as to why my boyfriend dumped me. He didn't dump me TwilightGardener Oct 2012 #66
You want answers, but there may be no answers. kwassa Oct 2012 #83
I've been there...probably most of pipi_k Oct 2012 #59
Over the PHONE? What a coward! Odin2005 Oct 2012 #63
He says he wasn't and I've never known him to lie. alarimer Oct 2012 #65
Ugh. geardaddy Oct 2012 #71
Be strong and don't try to get him back. You'll just injure your pride more Populist_Prole Oct 2012 #69
I just wish I had some answers as to why alarimer Oct 2012 #80
I know the feeling. RebelOne Oct 2012 #74
Vibes going your way. applegrove Oct 2012 #77
Hang in there alarimer. It WILL get better. Tuesday Afternoon Oct 2012 #82
Is he ever going to talk to me again? alarimer Oct 2012 #84
Maybe, maybe not. But you have no control over that. TwilightGardener Oct 2012 #85
Who knows? Whatever you do, though, don't try to contact him. The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2012 #89
Aw sweetie... redqueen Oct 2012 #91
I'm sorry. GoCubsGo Oct 2012 #88
I'm so, so sorry.. redqueen Oct 2012 #90
Where do you live? mykpart Oct 2012 #92
North Carolina, now. alarimer Oct 2012 #98
Call him back. tavernier Oct 2012 #93
He did email me back. alarimer Oct 2012 #99
I'm a little late to this thread, but may I throw in my 2 cents? LeftofObama Oct 2012 #96
That is good advice. alarimer Oct 2012 #101
This might be a key. kwassa Oct 2012 #107
seven years alarimer Oct 2012 #108
I think that there is a difference kwassa Oct 2012 #109
Ah! He has kids, you do not (and don't want to). MUCH clearer! riderinthestorm Oct 2012 #120
Being single is the best Mario_Ordinario Oct 2012 #97
My family says "Solitude before settling" alarimer Oct 2012 #100
Sorry, kiddo. Iggo Oct 2012 #103
Hugs to you. Helen Reddy Oct 2012 #104
My suggestion: If you're not doing so already, start working out cherish44 Oct 2012 #105
Don't grovel, and never, ever give up... a la izquierda Oct 2012 #112
I am so sorry! *hugs* GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #113
Just saw this. blueamy66 Oct 2012 #114
This message was self-deleted by its author kooljerk666 Oct 2012 #115
I'm sorry for your experiences alarimer Oct 2012 #118
This message was self-deleted by its author kooljerk666 Oct 2012 #119
Sounds like... discntnt_irny_srcsm Oct 2012 #121
Maybe this song will help you through RedCloud Oct 2012 #122
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