I finally twigged why people say outrageous things when angry

[Sekhmets Daughter]

3. Yes,......and no.

While you are correct that the person engaged in the tirade wants you to respond in kind, it is most likely not for the simple reason that they 'want you to be angry' to no further purpose.

For most people, it is damned near impossible to not become angry in response to the anger of someone for whom they care. It is easy to remain calm, cool, rational and analytical when we don't care about the individual or their opinions, beliefs etc. Thus, the person who is raging is made even more angry by the seeming proof of your indifference.

Also it is also easy to resist anger when we perceive the things being said as untrue...it is, after all, the truth that hurts. So outrageous accusations are more easily dismissed.

Your feigned anger should serve you well, if you are indeed one of those very rare individuals who can be emotionally involved and still not driven to anger, Good luck with the acting!