But I think I understand what you're saying. Many people never seem to be able to find the right way to display their anger or to resolve it. So what happens is that they are always bringing up old unresolved angers...perhaps disguised, but still the same unresolved issues.
That, of course, leads to exaggeration.
You continue to dismiss the idea that there is such a thing as real anger, simply because those displaying anger toward you have issues with how they express themselves and their anger. I have never had anyone but my ex-husband behave in the twisted manner you ascribe to every angry person you have ever dealt with. Oh, and my mother. They both enjoy(ed) being furiously angry...it gave them an excuse to be mean. That may be some of the issues with which you must deal. Which is not to say I haven't infuriated my fair share of people... but that when I have, I know exactly why they are furious and then we go about dealing with it. Sometimes shouting before laughing and working it out.
It could be that you become, unconsciously, supercilious, which would get on the last nerve of a saint. That of course makes me wonder, why you even bother trying to ascertain the cause of their anger. If you don't know and they won't tell....fuck 'em. 
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