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LisaLynne

(14,554 posts)

7. Everybody needs something different.

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:47 PM

Jul 2014

I like to immediately talk about the person and all of the memories I have of him/her, as well as hear others'. However, there are many in my family that don't want to mention the person at all. So, as others have said, you have to take your cue from the person who is grieving. Give them time, too. It's not going to be over in week or a month.

I always say, however, that when my dad died, one of the few things I remember from the funeral was a friend of mine coming up to me and just saying, honestly, "I don't know what to say" and then giving me a big hug. That was for some reason really meaningful to me, just the honesty.

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21 replies

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Highlight:

Does anyone have tips on consoling a person who has lost a loved one [View all] ohnoyoudidnt Jul 2014 OP

Just stay close. rug Jul 2014 #1

The kindest words sarge43 Jul 2014 #2

and know that they often will not ask for things they need SoCalDem Jul 2014 #15

Don't say, listen LiberalEsto Jul 2014 #3

No. Wait Wut Jul 2014 #4

Just be there for her. raptor_rider Jul 2014 #5

Listen. easttexaslefty Jul 2014 #6

Everybody needs something different. LisaLynne Jul 2014 #7

here's a few suggestions orleans Jul 2014 #8

Thank you! Especially for the best things/worst things to say lists. nt raccoon Jul 2014 #17

Me myself - just have to keep loving my DU/GD/Louners keeping on n/t UTUSN Jul 2014 #9

Be there. Make sure they are taking care of their personal needs. blogslut Jul 2014 #10

I was a grief & trauma counsellor for many years, and used this handout in my work. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #11

this is a wonderful post orleans Jul 2014 #13

Thank you, and it's been posted. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #14

It's helpful for me. lovemydog Jul 2014 #16

they sound like they would all be very appropriate and helpful orleans Jul 2014 #18

Excellent. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #19

Thank you ohnoyoudidnt Jul 2014 #21

The best thing I've learned is to follow their lead. Iggo Jul 2014 #12

For me, its best just to say, I know I can't do anything but be here, but know I am here dr.strangelove Jul 2014 #20