F**k whoever is in this bag

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

10. Reminds me of the time a couple of my cats argued over a bed.

The alpha cat, Milo, "owned" the heated cat bed and slept in it all the time. The junior cat, Jeoffry, coveted it but never got a chance to sleep in it because Milo was always in it. But one day Milo got up and left the room for a few minutes to use the litter box and eat some kibbles - and as soon as he was out of sight Jeoffry hopped right into the bed and curled up. When Milo came back and found Jeoffry occupying his bed, he just sat there for a minute, staring. I imagined a "WTF?" thought bubble over his head. Then he started smacking Jeoffry on the head, over and over, whapwhapwhap!

Jeoffry, who had been asleep or pretending to be asleep, looked up at him disdainfully, then curled himself tighter and closed his eyes. Mile whapped again, to no avail. Then he climbed into the bed on top of Jeoffry. Milo is a very large, furry cat and eventually Jeoffry got so hot and uncomfortable that he slid out from under and let Milo have the bed to himself.

It was one of the funniest cat escapades I've ever seen.