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Wolf Frankula

(3,595 posts)
162. If Pigs had wings, they'd be pigeons.
Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:41 PM
Mar 2017

Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery.

Bumfuq, Egypt. Someplace in the middle of nowhere.

AEON. 'Arse End of Nowhere'. Not far from the previous. I heard AEON in Southern Africa years ago.

Wolf

Trump makes me as nervous as a long tailed cat Dustlawyer Mar 2017 #1
That is awesome! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #3
My Swedish grandmother had one that I use quite often. Arkansas Granny Mar 2017 #2
Love it! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #4
I like that one. Iggo Mar 2017 #6
I like the "Bob" ones. Iggo Mar 2017 #5
Haha! Yes I have heard those for sure. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #8
Yessiree BobTAIL! trof Apr 2017 #176
Crazy as a Floyd R. Turbo Mar 2017 #7
Love this one too. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #9
Never teach a pig to sing... WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #10
Awesome examples! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #11
Just remembered: "Hurry up kid, you are slower than Christmas and it only comes around once a year!" LOL Lib Mar 2017 #39
Lol! I haven't heard that one in eons. WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #42
Aww! That is cute! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #44
I've heard that one too but my dad... WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #46
and a quarter to his balls Marthe48 Mar 2017 #150
Probably 'half -past'? trof Apr 2017 #175
Yes, that's right. I don't know why I messed that up... WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #187
Two hairs past a freckle. (No watch) trof Apr 2017 #182
Cool... I've not heard it that way before. nt WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #188
Never 'TRY' to teach a pig to sing... trof Apr 2017 #177
That would probably be more accurate... WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #186
"Pig in a parlour," or "a bull in a china closet," Alice11111 Apr 2017 #214
Another one I just remembered, "Trump is so ugly he would stop an 8 day clock!" LOL Lib Mar 2017 #12
If my dog looked like Trump, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards! n/t brewens Mar 2017 #155
That's a great one! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #166
If you can't say anything nice, MosheFeingold Mar 2017 #13
Yiddish wins the thread! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #17
"Come sit by me". - Alice Roosevelt trof Apr 2017 #181
Finer than Hayduke Bomgarte Mar 2017 #14
Very fine indeed! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #18
Spit three ways. eom littlemissmartypants Mar 2017 #106
My Mom's Favorite Bayard Mar 2017 #15
Ah yes, I'm guilty of this unfortunately. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #19
My grandmother said that a lot. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #213
I can guarantee that this is hardly used TlalocW Mar 2017 #16
Oooh those are very colorful. Thanks! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #20
Another version of the "Is the Pope Catholic?" reply is "Is a bullfrog waterproof?" pinboy3niner Mar 2017 #21
LOL, does a fat hog fart? LOL Lib Mar 2017 #22
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? OxQQme Mar 2017 #52
OMG!!! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #56
Does a goose go barefoot? Does a bear sh*t in the woods? Grammy23 Mar 2017 #48
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger frogmarch Mar 2017 #23
Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #24
:-D frogmarch Mar 2017 #26
Yes! whathehell Mar 2017 #72
Busier than a one armed man in an ass kicking contest! trof Apr 2017 #179
Haha LOL Lib Apr 2017 #183
With fleas (NT) amerikat Mar 2017 #154
My mom used to call me a frogmarch Mar 2017 #25
I have never heard that one! It is very appropriate when seen in the pic next to a huge horse! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #27
When my mom had had enough of her children's behavior TeapotInATempest Mar 2017 #28
My dad would tell us to go play on the freeway! Dustlawyer Mar 2017 #32
Is it terrible that this made me laugh? TeapotInATempest Mar 2017 #33
If the kids were running around my husband would tell them what his grampa used to tell him appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #65
Hahaha never heard that one! VOX Apr 2017 #184
my mom's version "Hells Bells and Panther Tracks" no I don't know why nt yellowdogintexas Apr 2017 #220
"Doomed if you do and doomed if you don't." pinboy3niner Mar 2017 #29
I still hear it, but damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #215
If I tell you a chicken has lips, look under her wing for a can of Skoal. brush Mar 2017 #30
One of my Faux pas Mar 2017 #31
"Sometimes you kill the bear, sometimes the bear kills you" oberliner Mar 2017 #34
the rooster crows, but the hen delivers the goods Skittles Mar 2017 #35
I'm totally going to be using this one! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #36
Every time Grandpa drove past the cemetery FakeNoose Mar 2017 #37
It is hilarious, I'm going to file that one away to use on my kids and grandkids. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #38
The old one GP6971 Mar 2017 #160
My uncle always said something like that. He said "the water around here isn't fit to drink. japple Mar 2017 #43
the compliment to the cemetery one is.... JCinNYC Apr 2017 #219
"It's colder than a well digger's ass in Alaska." LOL Lib Mar 2017 #40
Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a steel bridge. OxQQme Mar 2017 #53
Nice!! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #57
My dad always said "It is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey". appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #63
Finding the origin of these old sayings is the most fascinating part to me. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #80
I thought it meant that brass didn't freeze oldcynic Apr 2017 #196
On a ship, the plate was called a monkey. It was made of brass. It had indentations for appleannie1943 Apr 2017 #205
Colder than the north side of a south bound polar bear. GoneOffShore Mar 2017 #142
"He's so stupid he couldn't piss a hole straight in the snow." The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2017 #41
Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra was the one I heard. ROFL! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #45
One really cold day this past winter, a friend of mine..... lastlib Mar 2017 #74
That is full of WIN! She sure looks and acts like a wicked witch! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #81
"Doesn't have the sense God gave geese". TuxedoKat Mar 2017 #47
Ooh that one is nasty but I like it! :D LOL Lib Mar 2017 #49
Oh go fry ice! . . n/t annabanana Mar 2017 #50
I used to fry ice cream!! SwissTony Apr 2017 #180
As Turbineguy Mar 2017 #51
LOL that's extremely fucked up. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #58
Sucks like a soup bean sandwich Marthe48 Mar 2017 #151
Very appropriate saying for the Trump supporters "They bought doc03 Mar 2017 #54
Ahh I have heard this one, but never understood what it meant. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #59
I quess back years ago when there was a shortage meat you could buy doc03 Mar 2017 #64
Pig in a poke might have originated in Western Pennsylvania FakeNoose Mar 2017 #70
Are yinz from Picksburgh? dchill Mar 2017 #107
Yep FakeNoose Mar 2017 #122
About 75 miles north. dchill Mar 2017 #137
One origin story I heard Nac Mac Feegle Mar 2017 #139
My understanding too . If it is in a poke look inside and make sure you got a piggie lunasun Mar 2017 #163
An old Bluegrass Kentucky saying - dinger130 Mar 2017 #55
Took me a minute, but I now I get it. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #60
Hustle your bustle mercuryblues Mar 2017 #61
It ain't over till the fat lady sings. appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #62
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" you can determine how old a doc03 Mar 2017 #66
Ah brilliant! Never quite understood this one until now. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #82
I read that if President Truman wanted to have a drink with someone. dubyadiprecession Mar 2017 #67
That is as good a reason to drink as I can imagine. :) LOL Lib Mar 2017 #83
If it ain't broke, don't fix it cos dem Mar 2017 #68
I use this one and believe that it is a wise creed to live by. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #85
to quote my old infantry platoon sergeant TEB Mar 2017 #69
Love it! Someone needs to send this to Drumpf! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #86
My chiropractor laughed out loud madamesilverspurs Mar 2017 #71
I have heard it but never really understood the origin. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #87
Lots I can't remember but one has always stuck with me rurallib Mar 2017 #73
The pork chop one is classic. I love them all. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #89
Rodney Dangerfield Marthe48 Mar 2017 #152
I think this is pretty southern, Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #75
I am from the south too! I have heard versions of that. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #96
I'm fixin' to be all over you like a rooster on a June bug luvMIdog Mar 2017 #76
Haha! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #97
Good quotes are as rare as rocking horse shit! Doodley Mar 2017 #77
That one is a keeper! I never heard it before and will enjoy using it! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #94
My mom would always say "I am mad about....."(insert something she applegrove Mar 2017 #78
That is actually very cute. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #99
She was scientific. A one and only. Her father was born in 1882. Her mom applegrove Mar 2017 #111
Tough titties, said the kitty, when the milk ran dry Kimchijeon Mar 2017 #79
I learned the tough titty one a little differently... LOL Lib Mar 2017 #92
My dad was a man of very few words, and never used profanity. 3catwoman3 Mar 2017 #84
LOL LOL Lib Mar 2017 #91
Mom had a few. Can only think of 2 right now: Panich52 Mar 2017 #88
Cat fur to make kitten britches! I have heard! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #90
Couple more... Panich52 Mar 2017 #117
Rofl LOL Lib Mar 2017 #123
New one. :) Panich52 Mar 2017 #143
"Raining like a cow pissin on a flat rock" pnwest Mar 2017 #93
LMAO LOL Lib Mar 2017 #95
Another southern sayin': Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #98
Laffy Kat, you just described Donald J. Drumpf to a tee! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #100
You're right! Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #110
"Every day above ground is a good day." Adsos Letter Mar 2017 #101
We had a retired Baptist minister that lived across the street when I was a teen. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #103
They put whitey on the moon, Rollo Mar 2017 #102
Drumpf "doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground." LOL Lib Mar 2017 #104
Shinola was a brand of shoe polish way back when Trailrider1951 Mar 2017 #109
Thanks! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #124
Remember the song "What a Wonderful World" Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #161
It's now a wristwatch brand... VOX Apr 2017 #189
When you reach the end of your rope Lebam in LA Mar 2017 #105
Being born here doesn't make you a southerner; missingthebigdog Mar 2017 #108
The best cures for depression Jamaal510 Mar 2017 #112
My mom: " I only trust him as far as I can throw him" and "Handsome is as Handsome does" wishstar Mar 2017 #115
I like that ! lunasun Mar 2017 #170
learning is a series of mistakes Hamlette Mar 2017 #113
So true! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #126
He was shakin' ... sl8 Mar 2017 #114
That is such a good one, it paints a vivid picture! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #128
An old one I still use Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #116
Haha! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #127
You'll shit pressbox69 Mar 2017 #118
Omg! I remember that but haven't heard since my gramps passed. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #125
Even a blind hog gets an acorn now and then Cairycat Mar 2017 #119
Great ones! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #129
A variant: Trump thinks he's hot shit on a silver platter... VOX Apr 2017 #185
Less civilized people "lived out in the tules." hunter Mar 2017 #120
He's an asshole from the word 'go'. mikeargo Mar 2017 #121
I have heard it and grew up down south. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #132
"He didn't know whether to shit or go blind so retread Mar 2017 #147
Some are personal, some I just like. Behind the Aegis Mar 2017 #130
Love them all! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #133
My Dad used to tell my brother redstatebluegirl Mar 2017 #131
Oh that's a good one! I heard a less colorful version... LOL Lib Mar 2017 #134
Geez, we & our grandparents weren't nearly the snowflakes of today. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #212
When someone gets you mad, tell them to... mikeargo Mar 2017 #135
Good one sir. LOL Lib Mar 2017 #136
Or to go pound sand lunasun Mar 2017 #164
Mean as a junkyard dog. More... Alice11111 Mar 2017 #138
Red or yellow, black or white... radical noodle Apr 2017 #204
Yeah, that too. Sorry. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #207
My mom and grandmother would be pleased radical noodle Apr 2017 #216
Oh good, grandmothers are the best. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #217
A new one that I heard somewhere: Nac Mac Feegle Mar 2017 #140
If one of us kids turned our noses up on some foods, especially if she went to lengths to make it, Thor_MN Mar 2017 #141
Where were you when the brains were handed out? ailsagirl Mar 2017 #144
Jackson...... fNord Mar 2017 #145
You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle... Callmecrazy Mar 2017 #146
Can we go foreign? At a Bengali wedding, you wear a pith hat Recursion Mar 2017 #148
Courtesy of my Grandad Dakotacrat Mar 2017 #149
Yes, by cracky! "Squealin' like a pig under a gate" is one. I'll think of some more. n/t brewens Mar 2017 #153
By cracky! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #167
Action talks Metsie Casey Mar 2017 #156
I thought it was BS talks, and action walks. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #211
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. (NT) amerikat Mar 2017 #157
You're sweet enough to pour on a plate and sop up with a biscuit. wyldwolf Mar 2017 #158
One of my first camping trips I was told for the first of many times rurallib Mar 2017 #159
OMG!!! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #168
I don't think so - just a wee(hehe) bit stunned rurallib Mar 2017 #172
If Pigs had wings, they'd be pigeons. Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #162
Land sakes! Marthe48 Mar 2017 #165
Great List! LOL Lib Mar 2017 #169
Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob. Jane Austin Mar 2017 #171
Variant: Slicker'n owl shit on suede shoes. VOX Apr 2017 #192
From me Irish mother after I did a not so good job of a chore... discntnt_irny_srcsm Mar 2017 #173
Watching "Mountain Monsters" & heard another one fm WV: Panich52 Apr 2017 #174
Lmao! LOL Lib Apr 2017 #178
Do my best to add to such lists :). Will try to chk back Panich52 Apr 2017 #200
just saw this on FB mattvermont Apr 2017 #190
Were you standing behind the door when God was handing out the brains? Still Blue in PDX Apr 2017 #191
Well, heres a few I recall. Jack-o-Lantern Apr 2017 #193
"I don't care if it harelips the governor!" VOX Apr 2017 #194
I'm so mad I could spit tacks! OrwellwasRight Apr 2017 #195
so many memories... oldcynic Apr 2017 #197
"Hitch in your getalong," means someone is limping or walking funny, Alice11111 Apr 2017 #210
My grandpa used to say Texasgal Apr 2017 #198
"I didn't how him from Adam's housecat" (my mom)...... steve2470 Apr 2017 #199
My grandmother had a New Glasgow, Nova Scotia accent. She used applegrove Apr 2017 #201
one my mom liked lost-in-nj Apr 2017 #202
Here Are a Couple Leith Apr 2017 #203
Has anyone said littlemissmartypants Apr 2017 #206
He's pissing on my leg and telling me it's raining. Alice11111 Apr 2017 #208
"His/my give a shitter is broken." Alice11111 Apr 2017 #209
My wife has a girlfriend who knows the ultimate single woman's lament DFW Apr 2017 #218
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