Weekend Economists Ask: R WEE Donne? January 8-10, 2016

[Proserpina]

34. ‘Career change’ a myth to keep workers docile

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/career-change-a-myth-to-keep-workers-docile-20160106105083

THE idea that workers can switch jobs is a myth put about to stop them become depressed and unproductive, it has emerged.

Employers are told to respond positively to workers’ stupid plans to go off and work in a monkey sanctuary or become a crime writer, safe in the knowledge that it will never work out.

Company director Donna Sheridan said: “Our telesales staff are tied to this place by rent, mortgages and being mentally good-for-nothing thanks to years of brain-numbing toil.

“But if they realised they’ll be putting numbers into a computer until they retire and get a plastic clock, they’d probably lie down under their desks waiting to die.

“Sometimes I casually mention a woman from marketing who retrained and became an Apache attack helicopter pilot. Obviously it’s bollocks, but they love it.”

Sales manager Tom Logan, 40, said: “People are always successfully following their dreams, so I’m sure I can redo my GCSEs, A-levels and degree and take out a huge loan in order to become a brilliant doctor like Huge Laurie in House.

“My boss was incredibly supportive and bought me a stethoscope before telling me to get on the fucking phone and sell more bathroom fittings.”


Yes, it's supposed to be satire...