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16. Israeli kitchen staff are making breakfast for Boston bombing suspect: new details on his menu
Mon Apr 22, 2013, 07:07 PM
Apr 2013

An Israeli PR firm revealed in a press release today that in addition to the Israeli police and Israeli intelligence agents that flew to Boston, and the Israeli doctors that treated the wounded, and all the Israeli PR flaks that popped up to try to get the media to mention "terror attack" and "Israel" as many times in the same sentence as possible, at least two of the hospital kitchen staff preparing meals for the Boston bombing suspect also come from Israel.

"Honestly, somebody just told me to puree these apples in a blender, and I'm doing it," said Yankl Rosenberg. "I don't even know whether its going to the bombing guy or not".

"I suppose it might be for him, because his throat got all fucked up, and he can suck this through a straw".

Yankl is a native of Boston, who moved to Israel four years ago, but moved back to his home town last May.

"I went there for a couple of years, but it didnt work out. That language is all fucked up, all the letters look the same. And they put cottage cheese on everything. My buddy Menachem Mendel says he wants to go over there, I said boy, you better like the taste of hummus."

"Some Israeli PR flunky came and saw me yesterday, apparently he needs to get as many Israeli angles on this Boston thing as possible. He asked me if I had any terror experiences while in Israel. I said only when I found out how much apartment rents are over there. Holy shit it is expensive."

Yankl's work mate Mohammed also works the lunch shift at the hospital, and hails from Haifa. Yankl says that he mentioned his friend "but the PR consultant from Israel didn't seem too interested. Said he was the wrong kind of Israeli. Whatever. I have to get this bread and butter pudding out of the oven."

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