think I might be a drunk

[applegrove]

3. I had trouble with that too when I joined AA. The thing is a higher power can be anything.

I made my higher power 'nature' because I can get behind that. The higher power thing is important because it forces you to say you have no control over alcohol and yourself with alcohol. So you hand the power over to something else. And admit to yourself you are powerless. Why it works is that alcoholics always lie to themselves and say "well I can stop at any time" or "I'll only have one". And admitting that these are lies is a big step on the way to to never having a drink.

I didn't get it at first and thought to myself I can't do it. I can't hand power over to god. But when I replaced 'god' with 'nature' I could do it. Something would likely work for you. And it worked wonders for me because I love nature already. Now I don't even have a sip because I know it would never end there. It isn't within me to ever drink responsibly. I never will. And handing that 'power' 'to drink' over to something or someone else makes it a permanent understanding with oneself.

I highly reccommend that you try AA. They are flexable.