Extroverted social anxiety and a world of animosity...

[Tobin S.]

1. I felt that way to a much greater degree in the past.

What you are feeling is paranoia. It seems to be mild at this point, as far as an illness goes, but if it gets worse I'd definitely get in touch with a doctor about it. As it is, I'd still get in touch with a doctor about when you get back home.

I used to think people were judging me all the time and thinking bad things about me. It got extremely bad, to the point that it gave me a sort of reverse messianic complex. I eventually ended up thinking that I was so bad that I wasn't even really human. I was some kind of unevolved remnant from our evolutionary history and my mere presence on the planet was holding everyone in the world back from experiencing a higher state of reality and consciousness. I had to die so that everyone could move on. That was the state I was in when I entered the hospital for mental health treatment last time.

So do you see why I say it's mild at this point? But don't let that keep you from seeking treatment. That state of mind you are in, and I take it you are in it pretty much all of the time, can get much worse quickly for reasons known and unknown. It's definitely a problem and it definitely needs to be treated.