You are a caring, compassionate and great person! Depression is a tough beast to deal with, I know only too well. It seems it's always there in the background even at the best of times, a gray smog waiting to descend upon everything, smothering out the light. At it's worst it's like suffering from imagined emotional asthma, every breath seems like an effort, or being forced to carry around invisible weights with you everywhere you go. Every step, every effort seems like a chore. One of the keys I'm learning if that you HAVE to develop some form of outlet that relieves your depression, even if only for a few hours. You need the vacation from it to see and think clearly. For me my daily long walks are becoming that. When I was at my worst some months back and almost feeling suicidal I still had my hot baths which would take away the worst of it for 1/2 an hour or so at a time. If you can develop your own tool to relieve the worst of it, even for shot spans, you have a powerful weapon in your fight!
Here's hoping you feel better. 
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