I have an enmeshed personality with my father.

[Tobin S.]

4. olddots mentioned boundaries

I had the same problem with my parents. I think you've made an important realization regarding this. When you've only known one way of dealing with your folks from birth, it's hard to step outside of that relationship and see what's really going on. When I realized what was happening I felt violated and I couldn't be around my parents for a while. But there was a past dynamic of abuse there as well, and it doesn't appear that you have that.

After I realized what was going on I basically divorced my parents. Good things started happening to me shortly after that. I met my wife, became engaged, and moved fifty miles away. I still have a hard time tolerating being around them for more than a few hours at a time, but that's long enough to get through the holidays and the summertime get-togethers.

I'm not saying you have to go the route I did. However, if you are looking to set up some boundaries between you and your father, it's going to be difficult to do while you are living with him. At least more so than it would be if you were out on your own. It might be a good idea to explore that aspect of your relationship with your therapist.