Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
5. Another explanation...
Sun Aug 18, 2013, 05:01 AM
Aug 2013

I was talking to TexasTowlie and explaining this enmeshment issue and I think my explantion there was better:

"
My parents are in some ways a similar anchor for me. I've been diagnosed with an enmeshed relationship with them, which basically means we depend on each other emotionally so much that we can't separate ourselves from each other. My own personality and interests are underdeveloped and tied into theirs far too closely. This creates emotional dependencies between myself, my father and my mother. We can't be our own selves without hurting the other. And we often feel neglected or hurt by the others for the wrong reasons. I feel guilty for having and wanting my own differing beliefs and interests and yet because they are underdeveloped I don't even know what these interests are sometimes. This guilt then leads to resentment and self hatred. It's a toxic environment. It's not immediately obvious that it's toxic because in some ways we couldn't be closer as a family, but the flip side is that that is also the problem. I need to separate myself from them and work on myself, but it's difficult.

Not sure anyone can understand this.
"

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Mental Health Support»I have an enmeshed person...»Reply #5