I felt very alone, partly due to isolation, partly due to the fact that I didn't know of anyone who'd gone through it. Hopefully, those who still suffer can find comfort in knowing someone has gone through the same drain they feel they're going down.
I have lots of recollections about how I felt, what I saw in dreams (not getting woo-woo here--some meds gave me awesome dreams), positive and negative effects of meds, ways I found to get by, etc. Should I post excerpts of what I'm working on in my attempts to create a book?
I know that when I had it really bad I resented people who were "cheery" or— the worst—would just assume they knew exactly what I was going through; in fact, I lost a longtime friend* when his wife, who I'd genuinely liked, assumed she knew all about it and how silly I was to not "snap out of it!" Bitch.
Her reasoning? "Oh, I know just how it is. I contemplated suicide when I was a teenager. You just need to pick yourself up, and get over it and ..."
I finally told her that since she knew all about what everyone is going through that her time would be better spent telling cancer patients to "just get over it." "Come on, it's just cancer! Big deal! Get a new attitude!"
* A bit more to that story: they turned out to be teabaggers, and my old friend, whose mother's a lesbian, yelled something at me about "gay 'so-called rights'" and "'n*ggers' have it easier than" him, even with his two homes, boats, $2K+ bicycles, etc.
PS: Anyway, feel free to DUMail me if you need to talk. No judgement.
Bestest.
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