I think a family member is manic and bi-polar and it is scaring

[nadine_mn]

34. Thank you so much for sharing your story - that takes a lot of courage

To be so open about something that is so stigmatized. I knew something was wrong early in high school but only recently really understood the whole picture - not just the outward symptoms.

Your story gives me a lot of hope for my own future. In a way I think I've been running away from my mental health ever since I was a kid: overachieving, working, creating chaos in work and personal relationships, binge drinking etc....just distracting myself with real or made up emergencies which were exhausting and self destructive but still better than the alternative of facing myself.

In late 2007 my life became a bad country song: lost my job, my grandpa died, my dog died, my grandma died and then another dog died - all in a span of less than 2 yrs My grandparents were my world - they were the ones to keep me sane, so losing them was just awful. And I don't know what happened...it's like after 2010 my life just stopped. I haven't been able to work, I struggle to get out of bed most days. I found a good therapist in 2011 and have worked with him as much as finances and insurance has allowed. It's like all that running away through distraction finally caught up with me. I have no idea how my husband of 18 yrs has managed to stay with me through all of this. I think the hardest part was a few years ago realizing how I was acting in the emotionally abusive and unstable ways I so wanted to avoid. That scared me so much, that I was becoming what I had tried to escape, I retreated even further. Other crap has happened since..life stressors like you mentioned, but only one had the effect of throwing me back off course and reversing 3 yrs of forward progress. I just feel like at 44 I have wasted my "good" years and what's the point?

Reading your post has given me a boost of strength to see that I still have time to enjoy life instead of just getting through it. Thank you...I think we all have so much to learn and teach each other and I am so grateful for you taking the time to share your experience.