I thought of these two dreams as one dream and they ran together like that in my memory, but I think they are actually about two different areas of my life and what is happening to me right now both internally and externally.
One thing that has been on my mind in a major way lately is that I don't seem to be able to effect any change as far as my livelihood goes. I've went back to school and finished my degree in recent years, but I still can't manage to find anything that will replace the income adequately that I get from trucking. And we aren't talking about a ton of money here. I'd need to make around 50k a year, but I just can't swing it anywhere else. It's not just a career change, either. I recently thought I had another job lined up that would have been an improvement over what I currently have albeit still in trucking. They made me an offer, I took it, and gave my notice at my current job. A week later I call them up and they tell me they aren't going to hire me now. They said they didn't think they had enough work to keep me busy. It seems like they could have determined that before they even placed an ad let alone make someone an offer. I can't find anything locally that would be an improvement over what I currently have and I've been looking for three and a half years.
The fact that I can't stop in the first dream is telling. I can't stop being a trucker, and it seems to be something that's beyond my control. I had another dream recently about trucking and not being able to stop or slow down my rig.
In the dream I go in a big circle and come back to where I started. That could be an allusion to my current job and how it seems to be my destiny. I've been doing a round trip run for nearly two years with them and that's the only kind of work they've got.
The anxiety inherent in both the dreams is sort of the way I feel now about these two areas of my life, but the feeling is very exaggerated in the dreams. I've made my peace with the idea that I might be a trucker for the rest of my life, or until I retire. It's just perplexing to me that I can't even make something different happen no matter how hard I try. I've been kicking around ideas about free will and predetermination lately because of this. As I was thinking on this while I was driving down the road the other day, a car passed me with a vanity plate that read "AGE." A little synchronicity there, and that might be a part of the answer to my problem. I'm 45.
I don't think the second dream is totally related to the first one. Like I said these are just two things that take up a lot of my conscious thought now days. The second is about spirituality. In that dream it appears that I am in a hurry to get to my destination, but I trip myself up due to my haste and it costs me more time that it would have if I had just slowed down to make sure I was doing everything right. Forgetting the bag and the trip down into the wrong basement are examples of pursuing a course that takes one to a dead end or ends up just being a big run-around. But the journey down into the correct basement in the elevator seems to be telling me that I've righted myself and I'm back on course.
The lower level in the dream seems to me to be an allusion to a pictograph I saw recently in an essay I read about transpersonal psychology. It showed various stages of psychological development the beginning stages at the top and the more advanced stages descending downward. I meet my wife in the basement at the same time I discover a memory card in my suitcase which seems to be telling me to keep her in mind as I pursue my spiritual interests. The idea that I discover that I'm missing some things from my suitcase after I recover it in the basement seems to be telling me that I'm going to get where I need to be, but it might cost me something.
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