The Four Agreements

[hunter]

2. I feel like this should come with an "Ask your doctor..."

... "your mileage may vary," or "one size does not fit all" disclaimer.

And here I am, as skeptical of doctors as I am of anyone else, most especially psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, some who have done me wrong while doing their own best.

I've read that Don Miguel Ruiz's son has released a sequel with his father, The Fifth Agreement, which adds

5. Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

My wife often notes, sometimes in the heat of argument, that for all the thousands of dollars I've spent on various forms of talk therapy, I'm still a mess.

There have been times in my life when I've felt like a failure because I've embraced words, religions, or philosophies, yet the magic somehow eludes me. The worst promoters of these words, religions, or philosophies have sometimes blamed me for that failure, only to abandon me, feeling much worse about myself.

Thanks to modern meds I'm a somewhat functional human being. These currently include an anti-psychotic. Some of my realities, my dream worlds, are not happy places.

Off my meds, or if the effectiveness of my meds fade (which happens), I land in the locked psych ward, potentially worse. It's no different than I'd land in the hospital Emergency Room for quitting my asthma meds. (I've tried living without asthma meds too...)

I hope those are my own impeccable words but I'm never certain. My head is full of voices and I'm doing my best to ignore the destructive.