Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Pets

Showing Original Post only (View all)

littlemissmartypants

(24,130 posts)
Wed Sep 18, 2024, 12:34 AM Sep 18

My best friend is fading away. [View all]

I used to have a human best friend, my mother. But she died. Now my little doggie best friend is leaving me. My heart is already broken. Can it possibly break any more?

I'm wondering if chichi will make it until her birthday, October 8th. She was born in 2008. She was rescued from a dumpster. The breeding operation she was rescued from had been shut down. So many dogs in need remained. No one wanted her because she was born with so many birth defects.

A friend told me about her. She convinced me to go see her before it was too late. She was not going to be kept if no one adopted her, I was told. The thought of that still chills my bones.

All it took was one look, and she had stolen my heart. She was a fuzzball with huge ears, and she was mine. I knew I had found a companion and a friend.

I lost my pomeranian of 15 years just months before to a massive stroke, and the space he left was enormous. He was my baby. Literally.

When my former husband and I lost our baby to a physician's medical mistake, I wasn't able to get pregnant again, and my new doctor told me to "get a dog." So, I put the money aside and made a plan.

Like everything else I embarked on then I did my research. I read about breeds and life spans and peculiarities. I decided on a pomeranian. He was amazing.

I named him after a famous French general. You probably know the one. Because this pooch was a little guy with a huge personality. He immediately had me conquered.

The same thing happened with chichi. All ears and attitude but never barking. Eventually, she learned to bark and found her voice.

She would sing when I sang and we had a song list. I had so much fun "singing" with her, but now I can only try to remember the sound I know I'll never hear again.

She only occasionally barked. But when she did, it was a sound so large that believing it came from a four pound Chihuahua was difficult to reconcile.

Now, I'm holding a vigil. There will be no more barking. She hasn't been able to stand on her own for a couple of weeks. I've been anticipating all of her needs, carrying her around like a baby. The one I lost. The one I couldn't have.

Yesterday she ate very little for the first time and drinking has become very difficult for her. It's been so hard to watch. It's so hard to try and mitigate.

I want more than anything to see her fight for her life. But now she just cries out for me. She literally howls to have me hold her. So, I do.

It's a sound she's never made before. A sound I will probably miss and not want to really hear again, but one I will try to remember. It means she's still breathing. It means that I still have a friend.

Because she has been stuck to me like glue from the first time we met. I took her everywhere. So small and quiet and stealth no one ever really knew. She stole hearts when they did.

So to work, the bank, shopping, everywhere. I didn't want to leave her and now she's leaving me.

I don't want to lose her. I don't want to disappoint her. She's been a friend, and so will I be, until the end.

I made a commitment. I don't break promises.

She's been my everything since my mother died, and now she's leaving me too.

I am overwhelmed. Watching her fade. I keep checking to see if she's still breathing. I've barely slept, afraid I won't be there when she goes.

I think I may be broken. I'm so sad.

62 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My best friend is fading away. [View all] littlemissmartypants Sep 18 OP
I'm so sorry. Losing any fur baby is terribly difficult. sinkingfeeling Sep 18 #1
This message was self-deleted by its author littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #30
TY. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #31
Holding you and your precious chichi in light and love. We are here for you both. niyad Sep 18 #2
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #32
I can feel your pain thru your words and wish more than anything there was something I could do or say Deuxcents Sep 18 #3
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #33
How ironic that I am probably the first one to read this Sucha NastyWoman Sep 18 #4
I am so sorry. LoisB Sep 18 #6
Lady of the Beasts, please take Your little Roxanne gently home in Your niyad Sep 18 #14
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #34
I am sad with you. Sending a big hug to you. LoisB Sep 18 #5
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #35
I'm so sorry to hear of Chichi's condition SheltieLover Sep 18 #7
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #36
Yw! SheltieLover Sep 19 #61
There are no words that can make this better radical noodle Sep 18 #8
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #37
I'm not sure this will help, Abolishinist Sep 18 #9
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #38
Sending love and strength to you both. TommyT139 Sep 18 #10
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #39
They worm their way into your heart with very little effort. Tadpole Raisin Sep 18 #11
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #40
You are an angel in Chichi's life.. Permanut Sep 18 #12
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #41
Sending love and comforting vibes to you and your sweet dog. virgdem Sep 18 #13
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #42
The worst! Lulu KC Sep 18 #15
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #43
I'm so very sorry for what you are going through. StarryNite Sep 18 #16
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #44
Leaky eyes for you. Treasure your little girl. Backseat Driver Sep 18 #17
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #45
You *are* broken Roy Rolling Sep 18 #18
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #46
So sorry...it's indeed painful PortTack Sep 18 #19
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #47
Please accept the extraordinary Honor of JMCKUSICK Sep 18 #20
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #48
I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Hugs to you and chichi. You will both be in my thoughts. HeartsCanHope Sep 18 #21
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #49
I'm so sorry to hear that wendyb-NC Sep 18 #22
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #50
I am so very sorry Laurelin Sep 18 #23
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #51
I'm so sorry. All we can do is share your tears. 70sEraVet Sep 18 #24
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #52
I'm so sorry, lmsp. I hope in time your precious memories brer cat Sep 18 #25
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #53
I'm so sorry you're losing your best friend. CousinIT Sep 18 #26
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #54
You sound like a wonderful dog parent. Basso8vb Sep 18 #27
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #55
littlemisssmartypants, My heart breaks for you and Chichi rockbluff botanist Sep 18 #28
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #56
Such a powerful presence for such a tiny being. You aren't alone, although it seems far too huge for one person. Judi Lynn Sep 18 #29
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #57
Im sorry for your pain Figarosmom Sep 19 #58
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 19 #60
I think I may be broken..... Bayard Sep 19 #59
Just learning of this now, lmsp True Dough Sep 19 #62
Latest Discussions»Culture Forums»Pets»My best friend is fading ...»Reply #0