Religion

The Velveteen Ocelot

(121,951 posts)

28. When my dad passed away (at 92)

Fri May 29, 2015, 10:19 PM

May 2015

we weren't really sure what to do for a service, since he hadn't been a churchgoer in ages (raised Episcopalian, later UCC when we were kids, but no noticeable religion in at least 30 years). He had been living at a senior apartment complex affiliated with the Lutheran church (ELCA), so we contacted the Lutheran pastor who was the chaplain there. We explained to her that as far as we could tell Dad had been pretty much an agnostic, which didn't bother her (she said God loves you even if you don't believe in him), and we left it up to her to come up with an appropriate service. Most of his friends who would be coming to the service were Lutheran anyhow, and we knew Dad probably wouldn't care. So the pastor asked us to write out some memories which she read, and added a short homily and a few prayers. The music was classical because that's what Dad liked. Since funerals are really for the living, anything that your Dad would have been OK with and that comforts the survivors will be a good service. My condolences for your loss.

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It is with some trepidation I post here [View all] BainsBane May 2015 OP

A UU hymnal may be of some help. Laffy Kat May 2015 #1

Maybe the priest has some ideas. Or maybe your dad's old hippie friends do. struggle4progress May 2015 #2

kick... daleanime May 2015 #3

Sorry for the passing of your father, BB. Kind thoughts to you. misterhighwasted May 2015 #4

That's a nice one BainsBane May 2015 #7

My mother just informed me that Gibran is gauche BainsBane May 2015 #18

You could check out Marianne Williamson's Illuminata catrose May 2015 #5

Thanks, I will. nt BainsBane May 2015 #9

There are a lot of meaningful songs that generation sang, with various words struggle4progress May 2015 #6

We do have a musician BainsBane May 2015 #8

The funerals I've attended often begin dark and mournfully but end upbeat struggle4progress May 2015 #10

We're having it in the park, outside BainsBane May 2015 #11

May your memories be a blessing struggle4progress May 2015 #12

Thank you. BainsBane May 2015 #13

When Joyce died, we had no music and no poems and no prayers. Hoppy May 2015 #14

Wow. What a lovely idea. BainsBane May 2015 #15

Why have a "service" at all? Warren Stupidity May 2015 #16

For his friends and family BainsBane May 2015 #19

This is a nice older( sort of) hippie song. misterhighwasted May 2015 #17

I think John Prine was his favorite BainsBane May 2015 #20

Yes John Prine. misterhighwasted May 2015 #21

He was 74 BainsBane May 2015 #22

Yes I understand, my father's life ended for a similar reason misterhighwasted May 2015 #24

Thanks so much BainsBane May 2015 #25

"Johnny Got His Gun" was actually a 1938 novel about a badly wounded WWI soldier: struggle4progress May 2015 #26

Oh yes..I recall some history there with Trumbo. misterhighwasted May 2015 #34

Cool man, your dad. misterhighwasted May 2015 #23

The song is Pete Seeger's rewrite of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 struggle4progress May 2015 #27

It's from the Bible - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 Iris May 2015 #39

When my dad passed away (at 92) The Velveteen Ocelot May 2015 #28

So sorry for your loss. I spent hours on the Internet looking for applegrove May 2015 #29

Best to you. xfundy May 2015 #30

poetry that expresses deep emotions for those who we love and who just passed on. achsadu May 2015 #32

I went to a return to Earth day funeral yeoman6987 May 2015 #31

Sorry BB. I wrote a short story which had a theme. I'll DUmail it to you if you want. It's my view. freshwest May 2015 #33

He told us he had no preference about burial or memorial service BainsBane May 2015 #36

Crossing The Bar - Tennyson (nt) malokvale77 May 2015 #35

Any particular literature or poetry, or even ideas he might have liked? AtheistCrusader May 2015 #37

I would imagine an Episcopal priest would end the service with The Lord's Prayer. NaturalHigh May 2015 #38

I am so sorry for your loss. cbayer May 2015 #40

Thank you, cbayer BainsBane May 2015 #41

Sorry for your loss BainsBane, pinto May 2015 #42