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magical thyme

(14,881 posts)
8. the harassment came by proxy
Wed Dec 28, 2011, 10:25 AM
Dec 2011

from my co-workers asking personal questions about me and then feeding the information to him, and pressuring me to date him and refusing to accept no for an answer, to the point that 4 months into my job I felt it necessary to complain.

I did *nothing* to invite or encourage this. I do not dress or act in any way provocatively. I didn't even know who the fuck they were talking about initially, although I guessed at it by his bizarre, juvenile behavior 2+ months earlier, the 1st time I ever saw him.

I very rarely pass him in the halls - only 3 times in the 4 months before this started, and now 3 times in the last month with more wrong behavior by him. The day the various co-workers came to me questioning, giggling and pressuring me, I didn't even know he was in the building. He apparently was watching me from behind a door somewhere, though.

Since the day that the co-worker demanded to know if I'd "touched base with him yet," he has 3 times gone out of his way trying to strike up conversations. Not something anybody else at the hospital, in any capacity other than direct coworker, does. He has chased me down the hall with his mop, he has come right up in my face when I was getting a drink of water, and most recently tried to force conversation with his friends looking on.

He has a track record of this behavior: I am not his first target. Only the current one. According to the sole tech who told him straight out to leave me alone, he harassed another woman and had "a hard time accepting no for an answer."


"you seem to have a propsensity to 'find' sexual harassment on a fairly regular basis."

Right. I owned my condo for 13 years before the registered sex offender moved in next door. Obviously I was 'finding' it. And the creep that office stalked me worked on the same floor as me -- along with hundreds of men and women who didn't stalk me -- clearly I was looking for it.

I don't think "blame the victim" statements are helpful, appropriate or anything but offensive.

What a sad situation Tumbulu Dec 2011 #1
That strikes me as good advice. OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #2
tried the wedding band thing in the past, twice magical thyme Dec 2011 #3
Gotcha... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #4
Yep. liberalmuse Dec 2011 #5
Thoughts. Metta Dec 2011 #6
I am confused. Myrina Dec 2011 #7
the harassment came by proxy magical thyme Dec 2011 #8
I'm so sorry about this trouble you're having BanzaiBonnie Dec 2011 #9
you're probably quite right magical thyme Dec 2011 #10
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