Saturn transits Scorpio

[magical thyme]

5. thank you for posting this, WS

I also have Saturn in Scorpio, at just about 0 degrees, with my sun in Scorpio as well. If I understand houses correctly, its in my 2nd house. So I have also been experiencing my 2nd Saturn return.

Between the Grand Cross last week and tomorrow's full moon in Scorpio with the sun opposing in Taurus, both at 24 degrees, well, I've been having a rough time of it.

I made a major mistake -- I knew better, but was "greedy" (really, desperate) for time off, so will lose several hundred dollars that I really can't afford to lose. I am trying to forgive myself for that...really, I just so desperately need some time to take care of my farm, my critters, and my self. But just as I was about to actually have a little padding in my paycheck to paycheck existance, it's gone.

Last Saturday, I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't fall back to sleep. I'd had fun plans for Saturday and saw them disappearing into my insomnia, and went into a anger mode that I haven't fallen into in years...literally smacking myself in the face and head screaming "stupid, you're so stupid, stupid, stupid." And then collapsed in exhaustion and pain, before I start trying to self-soothe and be gentle with myself. I think it may be replays of childhood memories of being beaten...not sure. At least this time I didn't get any bruises. My poor dogs were so upset. Jake retreated to the furthest corner of the bed, Luna to the corner of the room.

Hopefully the lunation tomorrow will bring some insight and healing power with it. For both of us.