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Jewish Group

In reply to the discussion: (Jewish Group) Jokes for Jews [View all]

MosheFeingold

(3,051 posts)
19. In honor of the High Holidays
Tue Sep 4, 2018, 06:45 PM
Sep 2018

One Shabbat morning, Rabbi Levy noticed seven-year-old David staring up at the large plaque hanging in the shul lobby. It was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. David had been staring at the plaque for some time, so Rabbi Levy walked over to him and said quietly, “Shabbat shalom, David.”

“Shabbat shalom, Rabbi,” replied David, still intent on the plaque. “Rabbi, what is this?”

“Well, David, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Then little David, in a barely audible whisper, asked, “Which service, Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?”

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And somewhat related:

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Bill, the maintenance engineer for the big Reform temple, was busy building a sukka for Sukkot in the yard outside the temple.

Bill was a gentile, but took his job very seriously, building a very impressive booth, and utilizing all the necessary four species (citron, palm, myrtle, and willow) exactly correctly.

He was just putting in the etrog (with he stem on the bottom and the blossom end on top) when his friend, Fred, the maintenance engineer at the neighboring Catholic Church came over and asked Bill what he was doing.

"Well, I'm making a sukka," said Bill. "The Jewish worshipers use it for seven days for Sukkot and then we tear it down."

"Wow" exclaimed Fred. "That's a lot of work for something they just use for seven days."

"Pshaw," said Bill. "That's nothing. They only use that" (pointing toward the huge and ornate temple that loomed above them) "twice a year."


(Admittedly a slightly pointed joke from this old Orthodox man. I just read that 42% of American Jewish people have abandoned their faith and believe in . . . nothing. That hurts my heart. Please go to synagogue. Start with the high holidays and work on Shabbos. Find a shul with nice people, the less political the better.)

(Jewish Group) Jokes for Jews [View all] MosheFeingold Jun 2018 OP
I'm not Jewish but that's funny. TexasProgresive Jun 2018 #1
Greek tailor to Greek customer: Beakybird Jun 2018 #3
LOL! Behind the Aegis Jun 2018 #2
Rabbi Schwartz MosheFeingold Jun 2018 #4
Rabbi Goldberg MosheFeingold Jun 2018 #5
The Rabbi Is In: Two Men Come Down The Same Chimney StinkyPete Jun 2018 #6
So I had to read the whole story question everything Jul 2018 #7
Rabbi Swartz (again) MosheFeingold Jul 2018 #8
Moshe goes bra shopping MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #9
Sarah and Shlomo go for a drive MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #10
In the desert MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #11
Poor Shlomo is dying MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #12
A joke in honor of my granddaughter-in-law MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #13
Two Rabbinical students MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #14
In honor of "Behind the Aegis" MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #15
LMAO! Behind the Aegis Aug 2018 #16
I'm glad MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #17
100% True Story MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #18
🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 MLAA Jan 2020 #26
In honor of the High Holidays MosheFeingold Sep 2018 #19
Shlomo Reads Cosmo MosheFeingold Jan 2019 #20
Some dirty jokes MosheFeingold Jan 2019 #21
lol. Mosby Jan 2019 #22
Pope Goes Golfing MosheFeingold Apr 2019 #23
A bee joke MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #24
Love it! MLAA Jan 2020 #27
I'm just glad someone reads these MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #28
I once had a book of Yiddish stories that were wonderful. MLAA Jan 2020 #29
I'm loving your jokes. Turin_C3PO Mar 2020 #31
Thank you! n/t MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #32
The most modern Jewish thing I've ever heard MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #25
A short sweet joke for you TreadSoftly Feb 2020 #30
Reading Der Stuermer MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #33
Studying Hebrew MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #34
Captured in Syria MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #35
It's funny because it's true! Behind the Aegis Mar 2020 #36
Two quick ones MosheFeingold May 2020 #37
Mealtime MosheFeingold May 2020 #38
Two Hilltops MosheFeingold May 2020 #39
Moshe Goes to Confession MosheFeingold Aug 2020 #40
Really Happened MosheFeingold Dec 2020 #41
LOL Dr. Skull Dec 2020 #42
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