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In reply to the discussion: (Jewish Group) Jokes for Jews [View all]

MosheFeingold

(3,051 posts)
35. Captured in Syria
Mon Mar 16, 2020, 05:58 PM
Mar 2020

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “Now, I can die.”

The BBC Reporter said, "I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.”

The ISIS leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, "Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”

The ISIS leader turned to the Israeli commando and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the butt ,” said the soldier.

“What?" asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt ,” insisted the Israeli.

So the terrorist leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the behind. The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt first?”

“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?
(Jewish Group) Jokes for Jews [View all] MosheFeingold Jun 2018 OP
I'm not Jewish but that's funny. TexasProgresive Jun 2018 #1
Greek tailor to Greek customer: Beakybird Jun 2018 #3
LOL! Behind the Aegis Jun 2018 #2
Rabbi Schwartz MosheFeingold Jun 2018 #4
Rabbi Goldberg MosheFeingold Jun 2018 #5
The Rabbi Is In: Two Men Come Down The Same Chimney StinkyPete Jun 2018 #6
So I had to read the whole story question everything Jul 2018 #7
Rabbi Swartz (again) MosheFeingold Jul 2018 #8
Moshe goes bra shopping MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #9
Sarah and Shlomo go for a drive MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #10
In the desert MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #11
Poor Shlomo is dying MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #12
A joke in honor of my granddaughter-in-law MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #13
Two Rabbinical students MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #14
In honor of "Behind the Aegis" MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #15
LMAO! Behind the Aegis Aug 2018 #16
I'm glad MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #17
100% True Story MosheFeingold Aug 2018 #18
🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 MLAA Jan 2020 #26
In honor of the High Holidays MosheFeingold Sep 2018 #19
Shlomo Reads Cosmo MosheFeingold Jan 2019 #20
Some dirty jokes MosheFeingold Jan 2019 #21
lol. Mosby Jan 2019 #22
Pope Goes Golfing MosheFeingold Apr 2019 #23
A bee joke MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #24
Love it! MLAA Jan 2020 #27
I'm just glad someone reads these MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #28
I once had a book of Yiddish stories that were wonderful. MLAA Jan 2020 #29
I'm loving your jokes. Turin_C3PO Mar 2020 #31
Thank you! n/t MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #32
The most modern Jewish thing I've ever heard MosheFeingold Jan 2020 #25
A short sweet joke for you TreadSoftly Feb 2020 #30
Reading Der Stuermer MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #33
Studying Hebrew MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #34
Captured in Syria MosheFeingold Mar 2020 #35
It's funny because it's true! Behind the Aegis Mar 2020 #36
Two quick ones MosheFeingold May 2020 #37
Mealtime MosheFeingold May 2020 #38
Two Hilltops MosheFeingold May 2020 #39
Moshe Goes to Confession MosheFeingold Aug 2020 #40
Really Happened MosheFeingold Dec 2020 #41
LOL Dr. Skull Dec 2020 #42
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