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[PassingFair]

9. Beautiful, Tobin....

I couldn't respond yesterday, I was at a graduation party and then I went to see Jim Gaffigan (funny!).

It reminded me of "signs" that I saw after my father died.

I was charged with bringing some food to my parents apartment for the wake after his funeral.
I had to put one of the paper bags down to open the door. When I came back to pick it up,
the frozen food inside left a definitive heart-shaped wet spot on the cement. I felt my throat
and my stomach constrict, I have to say that my IMMEDIATE thought was that he was trying
to communicate his love to me from "beyond"....

A couple of days later, as I was driving on an expressway, a single, red, heart-shaped balloon
drifted across the eight lanes of traffic. Its string tangled on my side-view mirror for a moment before
sailing away. By this time, I'd had a little time to absorb the loss, but I did realize that had
I been LOOKING for "signs", this would have qualified.

I understand the impulse, the need, to override the finality of death. I see how it can come,
unbidden.

It freaks me out a little that some people never question the place where it really comes from.

Our own feelings of fear, sadness and loss.