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orleans

(33,986 posts)
2. i guess i'm doing alright
Tue Apr 10, 2012, 01:48 AM
Apr 2012

a hundred times better than i was
but still far worse than i would be doing otherwise

the tears still flow but not nearly as constantly as they did before
i still fall into crying jags but not as frequently as i did

my mom is in my thoughts almost all the time. still.
and i still talk to her--often.

what a thing we go through--all of us who have loved and lost. and for those of us who have struggled with what seems to be a nearly impossible task of accepting, continuing, and moving forward--what a thing to have to live through. the road to recovery can be the hardest one to travel--trying to pull your life back together when you know, so well, that it will never be the same again.

and what i wouldn't give to have my life back. (meaning life as i once knew it--complete with those i once shared it with)

but this sense of resolve has been settling in more and more the last few months--it leaves me a bit numb which lessens the pain and the hurt. i'm coming up on two and a half years. (okay, so the resolve comes and goes. i'm writing this and crying and crying...) i never imagined my life without her being a physical presence in it and it's amazing to me that it has actually happened.

sorry for venting, kesha. how are you doing?

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»Chicken Soup for the Soul...»Reply #2