A special group of people

[orleans]

1. thanks kesha

hope you're doing well.

i'm coming up on a three year anniversary of my mother's passing--going through a lot of mental head spinning, tormenting myself with the "what ifs" and doing the "three years ago today" routine.

it's so hard--it's so hard--it's so hard!

almost surreal to think she's been "gone" this long and that i have existed without her physical presence in my life--i wonder how i have managed to get by. i never thought i would last this long.

i never realized i was capable of loving someone so much. how wonderful to know she was loved so much. even so... my heart is still broken, my life forever changed, and i want --so much-- for everything to go back to "normal." i'll never have it again. i miss my old life.