BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Put Spies’ Lives at Risk

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29. Wonkette: Hillary Clinton Definitely Going To Email Jail This Time For Sure

Hillary Clinton Definitely Going To Email Jail This Time For Sure
By Doktor Zoom - January 30, 2016 - 12:13pm

http://wonkette.com/598345/hillary-clinton-definitely-going-to-email-jail-this-time-for-sure#kkEfU4SQHKhtkjM7.99

Better call the House Select Committee on Benghazi back into session, because with just days to go before the Iowa caucuses, there’s finally some huge shocking news about Hillary Clinton and all the Top Secret emails on her private server, which as everyone knows is the one issue that Americans simply can’t seem to stop talking about, at least after they’ve exhausted talking about the weather, sportsball, television, movies, their children, cat videos they saw on YouTube, and whether this milk is giving their coffee that funny taste. The carton says it’s not expired yet, but it might be a little off. Here, smell it, what do you think? And then right after that, Hillary’s emails.

What happened was that before releasing January’s monthly stash of emails Friday, the State Department announced that it was withholding 22 of the emails because they contained information that has been reclassified as “Top Secret,” although State Department spokesman John Kirby pointed out that “these documents were not marked classified at the time they were sent.” It’s also not clear whether the newly reclassified emails were sent by Clinton, or had been sent to her by other State Department staff; the New York Times notes that the bulk of emails released from Clinton’s server so far “were messages written by other State Department officials and forwarded by her closest aides.”

Still, they were on her private server, and they’re now marked classified, so the only logical conclusion is that Hillary Clinton is a spy. Be careful, her bowtie is really a camera.

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So anyway, Hillz, it was nice knowing you, bummer about how this HUGE SCANDAL will finally murder your campaign just like you personally strangled Vince Foster while not declaring your tax losses on Whitewater and planning the attack on Benghazi. Maybe if you’re lucky, you really will get another 11 hours of grilling from House Republicans, seeing as how that made you look great last time.


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