Trying not to add to the vitriol, but I'm angry and sad. [View all]

[Mother Of Four]

This discussion thread was locked by EarlG (a host of the 2016 Postmortem forum).

I'm angry, sad and a little bit sick. This Primary season has completely taken it all out of me, and I can't do this anymore.

Very rarely do I ignore anyone on here and I try hard to be fair on Juries. I don't care who you support, break the rules and I'll hide you in a heartbeat. I've spoken to some HRC supporters on here who others have torn apart, some privately in message, some in threads...and care for them as much as you can over a message board. Many times I read threads and never commented, sometimes because I don't know what to say but other times because I don't want to be attacked for what I say and how I feel.

This forum was my sanity. I came limping in here at the end of the Bush era, a broken person who had up until then voted conservatively. I was disheartened, and ashamed of who I had voted for and what they stood for. I was welcomed with open arms, yes there were a couple of bumps but for the most part people here were kind and understanding with my situation and how my direction had turned. We went through the primary process and I eventually ended up throwing myself wholeheartedly behind then Senator Obama. When he won I kept papers for our kids, I was ecstatic.

I was so happy I cried. I don't cry often.

The campaign for 2012 came, and I remember feeling like I wanted to cheer when President Obama said “Please proceed, Governor.” I remember watching the returns, and being close to crying again when he won for the second time.

I was PROUD of my President. When I talked about it, I smiled. I see the President and First Lady, how poised and able to relate they are and I know others see it all over the world. I see Michelle with children and wish mine could have met her. I see the President and how well he keeps it together with dignity even though he's faced with vileness every day. He isn't arrogant, he's just that chill.

I voted for someone, truly FOR someone, and it felt fantastic.

I don't, can't feel that way about SOS Clinton and her husband President Clinton.

I remember the controversies, I remember the bait and switches. I remember how he lied, bold faced lied. I've seen the same thing in this primary from her. Originally I had written about some of what I went through in the 90's as a young mother but it really doesn't matter. I don't need to air my old dirty laundry to say how I feel or don't feel about right now.

I feel like I've been driven out of my home. Yes I know it's stupid to feel like a forum is a home, and probably some are seeing my post count and going “WTF?” Let me explain. I may not post much, but I could always count on coming here after living in a small, VERY RED, community to re-balance and feel like I was a part of something bigger and safe. I didn't have to post to feel that way, I just had to read.

I'm sad, and sick. Tomorrow is a new day for those of you who are going to still be here. I see so many going “Tick Tock” and “One more day” ...gleefully rubbing their hands together and being so hurtful while doing so. Others are not and big kudos to you guys. You're my heroes.

To be clear, I'm well aware that there are probably going to be responses that are pretty mean to this post too. I don't expect people to gush or say “Don't go!” … because honestly I'm just not that prolific a poster. I don't think I hold as much value to people on here as you folks do to me. I also know that if I just disappeared people probably wouldn't notice. So this really isn't a post for others comfort, more for myself that I shut the door on this primary season. Maybe I'll be able to come back later towards the GE, maybe not. Who knows.

I do know that I wish all of you the best in this world, and ask – please try to be good to each other.

Take care, until I don't know when-
Mother Of Four.