My confession....I was once Hillary or Bust...

[Victor_c3]

5. I get what you are saying, but I still have a hard time voting for Hillary

First off I will pull the lever for Hillary when I vote, but my vote will be one that is against Donald Trump and not one for Hillary (if that makes sense).

Her Iraq war vote and 10+ years to admit that it was a mistake before giving a half-assed apology for it makes it impossible to accept her. I had a frontrow seat to the war on Iraq. I served as an infantry platoon leader in Iraq from feb 2004 through March 2005. I have blood from that war all over my hands and my conscience. I personally lost 5 soldiers that served under my command and I personally stuffed one of then in a body bag and carried him away from the shit-filled irrigation ditch where he died.

In the years since my time in that war I have slowly been losing everything as a result of chronic severe PTSD. I'm riddled with near constant flashbacks. I suck at suicide so I have a number of suicide attempts over the years. I typically spend most of the summer months locked in a psych ward, I have lost two amazing career track jobs (one as a manager in a shipping facility at Amazon.com and another as a chemist for the department of treasury), and my wife and kids want less and less to do with me. I'm 36 years old (the same age as Chelsea Clinton) and I'm considered totally disabled and in the last phase of my life, retired and unable to work or function independently.

The war was never about giving freedom to the Iraqi people. It was about revenge for September 11th and killing as many Arabs as we could. It didn't matter if Iraq had nothing by to do with September 11th. I quickly realized that in the early part of 2004. For Hillary clinton and her ilk to claim that they didn't realize it was a mistake until nearly 10 years after the fact either is evidence of her incompetence or due to her cold and calculating to protect her personal political career - and even in the latter case she did the wrong thing. I never believed it was a justified war and I was able to see right through the thin veneer put on by the bush administration during the buildup in early 2003 .

So, my vote will be "Hillary Clinton" but it will not be a vote for her, it'll be a vote against Donald Trump. If it becomes obvious that she is as pained by her involvement in the war anywhere close to the pain I experience constantly for me involvement, then maybe my attitude will change towards her.

To me my anger is more than me not just getting to vote for the candidate I wanted. I have never been able to forgive anyone who has had any thing to do with supporting that wasteful and pointless war.