Roof's Parents

[Igel]

20. They did.

But I'm not sure that every parent of every kid who does something wrong (whether a huge wrong or a not-so-huge wrong) should issue a personal apology. You apologize for what you did; you don't apologize for what others do.

Sympathy, sure. But guilt inheres in the perpetrator. Very few families choose to have their kid become a murderer or rapist, even if in some cases it's a possible (but far from necessary) consequence of a lot of little choices they made for 20 years. That "consequence of a lot of little choices" while often enough true isn't considered pertinent and is even considered offensive in many, many situations at DU.

Far too many mothers and some fathers, however, immediately go public with defenses instead of sympathy: instead of showing guilt-neutral sympathy they're all "It's all a horrible misunderstanding," "My little Johnny would never do anything like that." Even when it's caught on video with witnesses. Some eventually come around; others just go away. In such cases, silence is better and there's no judgment for privacy.

After all, they have a right to privacy. Their son can't waive their rights.