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Tue Jan 22, 2013, 10:45 AM

The "Nice Guys", of OK Cupid and elsewhere, who like to whine about being "friendzoned" [View all]

Last edited Tue Jan 22, 2013, 11:41 AM - Edit history (1)

It amazes me that there are still people who don't get this.

First of all, there is no such thing as a "friendzone". There is friendship. Anyone who is only interested in a sexual relationship should just accept it if the object of their affections is simply not into them. Engaging in some kind of ego-massaging mental gymnastics, such as inventing an entire "zone" so you can rationalize your rejection, is just self-serving nonsense. Move on, get over it, etc.

The "Nice Guys", with which I'm sure the overwhelming majority of women are so sadly familiar, are alarmingly fond of complaining about being relegated to said "friendzone", happily deluding themselves that the reason they keep being rejected is because they're "too nice"... LOL.

Now, just in case anyone might find it tempting to muddy the waters: No, "Nice Guys" are not actual nice guys. Women like nice guys. We love them. Girls, too. See, the clue which informs the reader of which type of person is referred to is quite easy to see. It is indicated by capitalization, by the use of "TM" after the erroneously self-applied label, by using italics, via the context of the discussion, etc. When women (and guys who get it) complain about and criticize these endlessly self-absorbed, clueless, sex-starved whiners, we are most definitely NOT talking about actual nice guys.

"Nice Guys" labor under the delusion that women are sex vending machines, into which they simply have to drop enough act-of-kindness tokens until eventually they get rewarded with sex. Actual nice guys see how misogynist and idiotic that kind of mentality is.

The "Nice Guy" phenomenon was so entertainingly explained, for the amusement of those who get it (and the possible, hopeful enlightenment of those who don't), on a now defunct tumblr called The Nice Guys of OK Cupid. Some of you may have read it. It was awesome. It was also constantly under attack. Cause, you know, picking on poor sexless lonely -and much more importantly, as it indicates the FAR more likely basis for their constant rejection- SEXIST, MISOGYNIST, and HOMOPHOBIC dudes is SO MUCH WORSE than all the revenge porn sites, all the creepshots type sites, etc etc etc etc etc unto infinity. Anyway...

So, in case you missed it, here are a couple of articles for your perusal. Enjoy.

http://jezebel.com/5969737/meet-the-so+called-nice-guys-of-okcupid

Thus one is good cause the woman who wrote it is all: Coddle! Enable!
http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/sympathy-for-the-nice-guys-of-okcupid/266929/

And then this guy Angel chimes in. Don't miss his comment!


I was going to include a few, but there are so many. Just Google 'nice guys of ok cupid' if you're interested in reading more.

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Reply The "Nice Guys", of OK Cupid and elsewhere, who like to whine about being "friendzoned" [View all]
redqueen Jan 2013 OP
niyad Jan 2013 #1
gollygee Jan 2013 #2
redqueen Jan 2013 #3
seabeyond Jan 2013 #9
bettyellen Jan 2013 #7
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #4
redqueen Jan 2013 #6
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #8
seabeyond Jan 2013 #10
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #13
seabeyond Jan 2013 #14
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #15
seabeyond Jan 2013 #18
redqueen Jan 2013 #16
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #17
redqueen Jan 2013 #19
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #20
Helen Reddy Jan 2013 #21
DetlefK Jan 2013 #5
seabeyond Jan 2013 #11
DetlefK Jan 2013 #24
seabeyond Jan 2013 #26
redqueen Jan 2013 #27
seabeyond Jan 2013 #12
redqueen Jan 2013 #22
seabeyond Jan 2013 #23
redqueen Jan 2013 #25
ismnotwasm Jan 2013 #29
redqueen Jan 2013 #31
MadrasT Jan 2013 #28
redqueen Jan 2013 #30
Tien1985 Jan 2013 #32
MadrasT Jan 2013 #33