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DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Gender & Orientation » History of Feminism (Group) » Virginity, Violence and M... » Reply #20

Response to seabeyond (Reply #13)

Sat May 31, 2014, 12:46 PM

20. For further clarification of my point:

Imagine the typical upbringing of a male Christian in our society. Say they're Catholic, or Baptist, or some version of Christianity that is known for it's conservative views in regards to sex. They are taught that sex should only happen after you are married. Perhaps even that it should only be done for the purpose of making babies - that anything else is against God's will, that it's wrong and bad. They are told that even masturbation is somehow sinful, with preachers making vague references to some obscure text that quotes "Waste not thy seed."

Now put this Christian male in school. Surround him with other boys, that, as they grow, will become increasingly more interested in sex. Their bodies will go through changes, they will go mad with desires for things which they have been taught are wrong. Other boys around them will start talking about it in the locker room, or at birthday parties. It starts with lies about kissing, dates, perhaps they'll even say they got to touch some girl's lady parts.

Move forward a couple years - most of these same boys are now in their teens, lying instead about having had sex with lots of girls. Even though their religion teaches them that it's wrong, society encourages the idea that you should be a player, that you need to have sex to be a man, that the more sex you have the more awesome of a man you are. Men don't usually look up to the most experienced men (and/or) boys - they look up to the best liars. Wondering "Gee, how can I be like him? Why does he have so much luck with girls?"

So you have two very conflicting notions that are a deep part of your psyche as you advance towards adulthood. Not only can most men now not understand their own desires, they are half convinced that they're bad and going to hell - and half convinced that they'll be the most beloved men on earth if they can just have enough sex.

A little reality - sociological or psychological perspective, education... honest discussion about these issues... I believe, could make progress in turning things around, in instilling in young men some notion sincerity, of reality. If we can convince them that they do not have to hide their desires, that they are not wrong or bad - but that there are proper ways to go about managing these things... well, we could accomplish great things.

I don't think it's so much about having sex - as it is facing the reality of it, talking about it with honesty, sharing feelings - to stop with the repression that seems to be so encouraged.

Maybe I'm wrong, I can only share my own experience and thoughts as a man having been born and raised in this modern society. But I do think the solution is education. Real education as opposed to lies and bible stories.

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Arrow 39 replies Author Time Post
ismnotwasm May 2014 OP
shenmue May 2014 #1
theHandpuppet May 2014 #2
sulphurdunn May 2014 #3
seabeyond May 2014 #7
sulphurdunn May 2014 #10
DesertDiamond May 2014 #4
seabeyond May 2014 #8
Sweet Freedom May 2014 #15
seabeyond May 2014 #16
Sweet Freedom May 2014 #22
seabeyond May 2014 #23
theHandpuppet May 2014 #24
seabeyond May 2014 #5
davidthegnome May 2014 #6
seabeyond May 2014 #9
davidthegnome May 2014 #11
seabeyond May 2014 #12
seabeyond May 2014 #13
davidthegnome May 2014 #14
seabeyond May 2014 #18
LineLineLineLineLineReply For further clarification of my point:
davidthegnome May 2014 #20
seabeyond May 2014 #21
ismnotwasm May 2014 #25
theHandpuppet May 2014 #34
ismnotwasm May 2014 #35
theHandpuppet May 2014 #36
davidthegnome Jun 2014 #37
theHandpuppet Jun 2014 #38
ismnotwasm May 2014 #17
seabeyond May 2014 #19
randys1 May 2014 #26
Dark n Stormy Knight May 2014 #27
redqueen May 2014 #28
seabeyond May 2014 #29
redqueen May 2014 #30
ismnotwasm May 2014 #31
redqueen May 2014 #32
seabeyond May 2014 #33
MadrasT Jun 2014 #39
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