Really amazing thread on "unpaid emotional labor" routinely expected of women...

[bettyellen]

5. it is a huge eyeopener for me, because I myself did not value that kind of work as a child....

because my mom saved it all for the boys, and basically expected me to be her emotional caregiver at a ridiculously young age, and sublimate my own needs. She never really did any of the social glue stuff- except to try and make sure I stayed close with my siblings.
I never understood the bond my brothers had with her, but yeah... she did nurture them and made them feel very important. Catered to them. Till they were in their forties, I might add.
I kind of missed seeing it because I was basically (in my mind) running and screaming as fast as I could away from her kind of life.
Certainly has solidified for me many of my life's choices.