I kinda need a hug...

[leftist_rebel1569]

I had a horrible day today. Normally I always have bad days on Halloween, but today was particularly bad. Now, keep in mind i'm hopelessly lonely...I'm starting to doubt if there actually is light somewhere towards the end of the tunnel when it comes to my relationship life. That, and there's growing rifts between me and pretty much all of my friends, mostly because of me and my stupidity of handling my emotions. But anyways, about my day...

This morning, I got out of bed late and I was rushed to do all of this stuff in the whole half hour time before I had to be at school, so I was stressed before I even got there. Then, during the day, I was constantly reminded of my love life - I kept seeing all these couples, and they're all so happy and laughing and having fun...up to this point, i've been able to handle it for a while now. I've forgotten about how lonely I was...until today. Anyways, reminders were everywhere. I bumped into 2 old crushes today, one of them three times in the halls. I had a huge crush on her over the summer, and I eventually got over it, or so I thought. It's like it's coming back, but I KNOW I have no chance with her. So, not only was I reminded of what it must be like to be in a relationship, I was reminded of the impossible odds I faced in getting one.

So, school was hell. When I came home, that was all I could think about. So, to try and forget about it, I went over to one of my friend's house. And, while I was there, I got to catch a good 10 seconds of my friend and his girlfriend making out...like, full force. About now, it was 7:00, and the trick-or-treaters were out. So, on my bike ride home, I saw another couple, holding hands and kissing. By now, I was thinking "...ugh. Christ, I hate PDA". Then, I got home, and a couple of my friends IMed me, telling me about their nights. With their girlfriends. I simply couldn't take it anymore at this point. I had gone from being completely happy with myself and not having a care in a world (yesterday) to being completely depressed about how much my love life sucks and was gonna suck for a long time, therefore rest of life sucks and will suck for a long time (today). I basically put an away message up and turned on my music...and I cried. Way too much for one day (christ, I hate being emotional). After about 10 minutes, I stopped crying and just laid on my floor, watching minute after minute go by on my clock. And now i'm here, because I need to vent this somehow.

So, DU, that was my day. I hope this didn't bore you enough to ruin your festive moods, which i'm still kinda wondering about, with all the freeping stuff...anyways, thanks for reading this. All hugs are appreciated...