Something's not right in my ex's brain.

[LeftyMom]

I called him up today to see about him keeping the kid while I'm on vacation. We talked about it for a minute, and as I'm about to hang up he says "be careful."

"Huh?" I said, "Are you worried I'll get my heart broken?"

"No, not that at all. Just be careful on the plane and at the airport."

"Planes are safer than driving, you know."

"That's not what I mean."

"Now I'm confused- do you mean pickpockets at the airport? Overly touchy security people? Packing my laptop carefully?"

"No, did you hear that news story... uhm... about the lady on the plane today? I heard about it on the radio this morning."

Oh goodness, morning radio... I think I know what this story is, thanks to the wonder that is Matcom News. "You mean the lady that got an unwanted money shot on a plane?"

"Yeah, there are weird people out there."

"Okay, I promise if anybody whips their junk out near me while I'm flying, they'll be able to take it home in their carry-on."

"Good, just keep your eyes out and be careful."

I swear, I'm taking a cross-country trip, and the first thing he worries about is that some wannabe porn star will shoot his wad on me on the plane. No sense of probability or proportion at all. You honestly can't make this shit up. No wonder he's my ex, eh? :eyes: