hi lounge.....

[lost-in-nj]

just wanted to say HEY..... :hi:


went to go see Hairspray (the play ) today with George Wendt..... it was awesome....

way beyond fun.......
then went to

Patsy's for dinner.... meh

but I found out at dinner that stbx threw a birthday party for himself at one of our
fave restaurants.... the one my cousin works at....

I found out by accident and the people that said something thought I knew....

my "friends", People I thought were family all went, and my daughter (no I do not fault her, she loves her dad) I am pissed at him for putting her in this kind of position.....

oh everyone tonight said "we are on your side lost." fuck em
I am so tired of being left out because everyone thinks it would hurt me....
the whispers and looks i feel fucking dirty.
it hurts me more finding out like this....
I feel betrayed and really do not know what to do with these feelings.
if they are on "my side" why did they go????
oh well.....

oh and our son didn't go... he had NO FUCKING IDEA there was a party, nice huh

thats because he would have smacked his father upside the head after finding out about the howorker.

so I am sad tonight...... to much to post here.... just, we had such plans for this year.....

I know tomorrow I will feel better... well maybe a little....


thanks again for letting me vent

:hug:

going to bed.......



lost