Reply #45: Random thoughts, stories, and advice

[Astarho]

In my town I've noticed there are three gimmicks to get girls, Musician, Old Hippie/Spiritual Guru and Native American. I don't want to have to pretend I'm something else, and I am what I always was: a shy quiet kid who was too nervous to ever ask a girl out. To this day I still find it hard to get up enough courage to ask a girl out. Add to the fact that I don't like driving (vision problems) don't like parties and most social activities and enjoy bizarre things like obscure languages, long hikes, and am a Scifi geek. I figure why set myself up for disappointment?

There was a girl I liked in 8th grade, and I later found out she liked me too, but neither of us ever got the courage to ask the other out, and to this day I still regret it. I managed to contact her a few years ago. We had a few friendly emails, but then she stopped. Maybe she moved to Idaho with her boyfriend/fiance like she said she would.

My first and only real girlfriend was several years ago and she was, to put it kindly, a golddigging bitch, who would try to make me feel bad about myself every chance she could. The final straw came when she could not make her rent (although she had a closet full of new expensive clothes) and told me I was selfish to not help her out. I told her no, she said then it's over (one of her favorite threats) and I said fine, and it felt damn good. She left but snuck in later to take back the gifts she had given me.

I have met several girls since but few would go out with me until I met another girl. She was beautiful, intelligent and best of all completely honest. We had a great time. Unfortunately she was 36 and ready for a baby, and I was 24 and not. After that I met another girl, and we also had a great time, I realized I liked her, and then she met someone else (but I've been invited to their wedding :eyes: )

It does piss me off to see young girls my age walking around with scrawny bearded old men. I hate seeing happy affectionate couples together. Or to have girls turn me down to go out with guys with dyed black hair and questionable Native heritage. Case and point, a co-worker who falls into gimmick #2 always has women asking about him, he flirts with everyone and has admitted to me that he hates women and his sole mission in life is to get laid. He set his sites on another coworker, much younger. There were complications of a medical nature and now he is tired of her and doing everything he can to make her leave since he doesn't want everyone at work to think he's the shithead.

Do these stories have a point? Probably. 1) Life isn't fair, once you accept that it gets easier. 2) let the women know you'll still be there after the assholes get tired of them. 3) Enjoy your time by yourself. Despite my earlier complaints, I do enjoy spending much of my time by myself. Add to the fact that am about to finish a third novel, I don't consider it a complete waste of time (now if only to get them published)

But then, I'm only about two years older than you so do what you will with this advice. But it was fun when I asked a girl out and she said no because she was living in an ashram and "working on herself" and writing her novel I could say: I've written a novel. She mentioned the years she put into hers and I said I finished mine in about six months, the look on her face was worthwhile.