Reply #64: it's not all or nothing

[datasuspect]

you make concessions where its appropriate. if you know someone who is an observant jew, naturally you wouldn't feed them ham. but i wouldn't expect someone to know the intricacies of orthodox jewish dietary restrictions (although i do). as far as allergies are concerned, purposely feeding nuts to someone with peanut allergies would be criminally negligent and i don't think you can make a valid comparison with that analogy.

from what the op said in the first post, it doesn't seem the issue is menu choices, there seems to be other significant family problems. the dinner is symptomatic.